Eh! Me Immigrant! Give me MONEY! Kickstart! Ebay! Eh! I want MONEY so GIVE ME!

Immigrants. They know who the chumps are. The people who speak ENGLISH.

Croatia. Ecuador. Nigeria. Sri Lanka. Romania. Manilla. Hong Kong. Lithuania. Wherever. They babble in their native language what translates as: "Find a way to swindle the American and British. Just walk into their country and tell them you want welfare. Go on Kickstarter and demand free money. Take your bootlegs to Ebay and copy off somebody else's ad copy, or write your own as best you can. They can afford to BUY. You are entitled to do as you please!"

Christ.

No wonder we have Lithuanian Kickstarter fuckheads who figure they should be indulged with the gift of a $5,000 recording studio free. Or dimwit bitches thinking they should get $5,000 to put out a vanity singing CD, because "you will like native music of my country. I do song with me hitting a native drum. Very nice." Does a bottle of aspirin come with the CD?

English speaking people have developed the reputation for being easy marks. "We have MORE than enough. Come live in our country. Come get government money. We feel soooo guilty. While OUR immigrant ancestors came here ready to work, YOU don't have to! Aren't we wonderful white people??"

Over on eBay, these Eurotrash monkeys, these slanty scumbags, just don't stop. They get a zillion aliases and the Utah morons in charge of suspending 'em hardly do anything. "We know there's a problem, but we have millions of auctions and we can't possibly monitor them all." Or pay attention to people who report violations?

Here's a typical illiterate prick. He downloads bootlegs off Kickass or some dimwit Polish fuckhead's blog or a stealing forum, and then decides to sell the shit on eBay.

That's all it takes. Minimum English skills. The ad is blatantly illegal but click "report this item" and complain it's a digital download, and the odds are 50-50 someone will pause from sleeping or eating muffins to pull the auction. And a few days later, the seller sneaks it back again.

Just throw the bootlegs on eBay and watch as Seniormole and Boot Sale cheapskates buy it up for a few dollars. "What's the Kerfuffle," says Seniormole. "These are poor people. They can have an entire dinner on a few dollars. The artists can afford to SHARE. And me? Oh, I don't think I should pay full price. A few dollars to a bootlegger seems FAIR."

So they buy a bootleg zip file of EVERY book Stephen King ever wrote, pay the price for ONE book, and leave positive feedback: "I'm very happy! Great seller!"

The seller sends a link to the zip file via an illiterate e-mail:

At best, the sellers steal from each others' ad copy. They know the caveat eBay needs. Ebay, of course, stresses "we are just a venue," and not obligated to ask a seller, "what proof can you give us that you OWN copyright?"

And the copyright owners are told it's "copy wrong," and they should jump through hoops to send in DMCA's, and they should spend their lives typing their names on eBay to see what's being done in their name.

And Kickstarter? GoFundMe? Flooded with so many con artists and immigrant pests that most people stop looking, and figure they're better off keeping their money for themselves.

So they get off the computer, go out in the street...and are accosted by pesty, greasy, shoulder-shrugging immigrant pests: "Giff me MAH-nee. You hhhhave MAH-nee, do you not? So? So giff me some! What's it to you? I want a falafel sandwich! Come on, giff me, I don't haff all day!"