Who wins "America's Got Talent?"
The guy who in 1996, won The Big Big Talent Show, hosted by Jonathan Ross.
THIS guy. A fucking ventriloquist. Who is not, NOT American.
One of the most obnoxious things about Slimy Towel's "Got Talent" shows, is that there's absolutely NO difference between amateur hopefuls and professional ringers.
The idea behind these shows is supposedly that amateurs can somehow have a dream come true. The most famous contestant personifies that notion: Susan Boyle, who was nothing but a homely unknown till she appeared on "Britain's Got Talent."
It turns out she's pretty much the exception to the rule. The winners of "Got Talent" shows usually are very seasoned performers who are making a living, have websites, and have DVDs and CDs for sale.
The "judges" on these shows pretend that what they're seeing is amateur talent. Take this year's fourth-place finisher in "America's Got Talent." It's Scotland's Steven Wright, aka "Stevie Starr" aka "The Regurgitator." This guy has been a professional for over 20 years and has already appeared on "Britain's Got Talent," and various other European "Got Talent" broadcasts. Yet, the judges all acted as if they never heard of him!
It was only after he finished fourth and said his goodbyes, that Starr admitted that he had been a guest, years ago, on Howard Stern's radio and TV show. I remember this guy from a "Just for Laughs" festival back in 1988. And yet, he's competing against rank amateurs?
There's something fundamentally wrong about a "talent show" where nervous amateurs have to fight it out with seasoned professionals. There's also something totally bizarre when TWO of the top FOUR contestants on "America's Got Talent" are actually British. Are there ANY rules on these fucking Slimy Towel shows??
There wee some good moments on the show. There always are. (Both AGT and BGT). Over the past weeks,there were some emotional singers and comedians. There were also some oddball acts, and the always amusing utter failures.
It was nice to see some of the true amaeur contestants show genuine excitement at getting ANY kind of TV credit, including precocious pubescent singers with big voices. But there were way too many smartass ringers, and way too many "back story" pieces designed to tug the heart strings, like the professional magician who wanted to win the million bucks "to spend more time watching my boys grow," and the stuttering comedian who was "a role model" for people with disabilities.
The slickness and cynicism behind the "Got Talent" shows takes some of the vicarious joys and amusements on these broadcasts. And "America's Got Talent" being won by a British guy who has been doing his corny puppet shit for over 20 years? PATHETIC.
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