So, it 's a promo-tour for the POPE FRANCIS ROCK ALBUM

Coming to America was just hype for a music album!

Visiting the White House, coming to New York...this guy did everything except turn up on the "Tonight Show" and perform with The Roots as his backing band.

It turns out, POPE FRANCIS HAS A ROCK ALBUM TO PROMOTE. The first track is on GOOTUBE right now.

Fer Chrissake. I do wonder, is the link everyone's been pointing to "official" or just some guy who was the first to illegally download it to make some chump change?

As to the track chosen to call attention to the album? Put it this way: Pope Francis ain't William Shatner.

It's pretty obvious that not even Jeff Lynne could've done much with the Pope's aging, nasal voice, or his soft, highly accented cadence. The music and production are from two guys from the vintage Italian progrock band Le Orme. I had a few of their albums back in the day; not bad at all, but it was all in Italian and they weren't rivals to the Crimson Moody Harum.

I wonder what kind of miracle would've happened if, instead of copping speeches, the producers dragged Pope Francis into an echo chamber and coached him to sing. Would he have sounded more like Pope Francis Albert Sinatra?

Ultimately, the fairly generic mood music in the background is ok. It's nothing to write Annie Haslam about. After about 45 seconds, the speech is grafted into it, and it's just a distraction. As in; "Gramps, ya mind keeping it down, your mumbling is interfering from the shit I just stole from Frog Not Prog. Or was it Zinfart. Or maybe Lajsuck."

Pope Francis could've at least talked his way through a few hymns. He could've hit the old standards like The Lord's Prayer. He could've gotten Born-Again Bob's permission to use "Gotta Serve Somebody."

No, this is NOT a joke.

As if we don't have enough with "fans" who consider re-issues of Van Morrison to be the "Second Coming." Next come the goddam buttons that say: "This is Pope Francis' World, We Just Live In It." Jann Wenner is offering the cover of Rolling Stone, but Francis says, "Look, I'm being nice to fags, but Wenner I'm not crazy about at all."