HOT AIR FROM A BLIMP : EBAY LOVES UNLICENSED THERAPISTS

Here's a healthy, well-adjusted woman.

If you're seeing double, it's because this blimp of a bint posted TWO photos of her double-chinned self.

If your problem is that you can't lose weight, you've come to the right tub of lard.

She'll tell you it's ok. And bill you $8 for your call.

But that's only part of the scam, right?

Your winning bid for fatty's "Self Improvement Correspondence Service" might only mean an e-mail.

To talk to this gas bag might be an extra $2 per minute. Skype? $4 per minute. Whatever.

Let's look at the FINE print on this ad from an ENORMOUS LOAD of TALKING ELEPHANT TURDS.

Blah blah.

Your $8 might entitle you to just one Twitter-sized e-mail of advice. More than 140 words could cost hundreds of bucks extra. One minute on Skype might be for $8. Then it's $2 per minute extra. Who knows. Who cares. Not EBAY.

Which is pretty fucking stupid, isn't it? EBAY wants to be a Craigslist allowing any lunatic to prey on the lonely, gullible or mentally confused?

EBAY gets a dollar out of this (shared with Paypal) and after that, customer and seller can work out an "agreement" for future "services" that could cost the customer hundreds of dollars. And lead to what, suicide?

This fat lady MIGHT be a sweet, harmless goofball who isn't going to do much harm, but EBAY shouldn't be hosting this kind of thing.

And...guess what...it IS against their rules.

Ebay doesn't allow counseling, personal relationships, or "services," not even from professional therapists. That's why you don't see a category called PSYCHIATRY. So how do people like THIS get on site? They simply post an ad. How do they get kicked off? They don't.

There's no way to report an auction like this. Click that funny "report item" link and see all the pull-down menus you have to deal with. This isn't porn. It isn't selling dangerous chemicals or body parts. The closest is category: prohibited and restricted items. Followed by the next menu choice: "illegal items and items encouraging illegal activity." Then you move on to the detailed reason for your report: "other illegal activity concerns."

But that's not quite it. This woman isn't encouraging illegal activity, just doing something against eBay's rules. The average moronic minimum-wage clod in Utah who is fielding complaints in a cubicle at EBAY headquarters isn't going to understand why this was reported.

Call up EBAY and mention the auction number and ask how to report it, and the answer is: "This need to be addressed. In the meantime, I will take the appropriate action for you." Except the phone monkey has NO authority to do ANYTHING except forward problems to somebody higher up the ladder. And in this case, the phone monkey has no idea who that might be!

So the odds are 50-50 that reporting this item (or similar ones from gurus, would-be therapists and "experts" in relationships or tax evasion) would get it removed.

EBAY actually has rules, and does recognize why certain things shouldn't be allowed, but allows them anyway through bureaucracy and confusion. Maybe the CEO of EBAY should call up the Fat Lady and ask how he can get his head out of his ass.