As the wetbacks say, "Va China!"

"Va China" is Spanish for "Go China!" Or something like that.

It definitely doesn't mean "Hey, TWAT!"

I'm not a wetback and I really don't like China. So what the FUCK, in the middle of my daily aggravation was "China Daily" doing on my fucking doorstep?

The Chinese are a pushy lot. They are compensating for having rice dicks. Based on the ones I've had to deal with, the Chin-lee are extremely arrogant, totally selfish and utterly stupid. But I'm open to a Chinese woman changing my mind. Which is another way of saying "Blow me." Except the Chinese woman I know is totally selfish and utterly stupid. Probably arrogant, too. And probably has a twat as dry and gnarled as a fortune cookie.

I keed. And I digress. This fucking CHINA DAILY, which was not randomly tossed but had my fucking address on it via what looked like a SUBSCRIPTION label, was loaded with all the unimportant news about how some high Mukkity-Muck Chinkitty-Chink named XI (number eleven, number eleven, number eleven) was coming to America to drum up business, and how ALL the major companies were eager to greet him.

It's possible China Daily simply spent a lot of money to buy a mailing list, and then hired a few cheap pains in the butt delivery gooks on bikes to deliver 'em, as they do Chinese take-away menus.

Several propaganda articles insisted that China respects copyright, loves America, and is eager to "grow" right along with the rest of the world. Yeah, well so far Chinese men haven't learned to grow anything bigger than baby dicks, haven't done much except knock off everything from DVDs to computers, and put their children to work making huge over-priced sneakers for Niggas with too much money.

The cover showed Mr. Muck, the current version of Mao, I guess, greeting the decrepit old Dr. Henry Kissinger. Yeah, the guy who "prayed" alongside Nixon. Nixon's show-Jew, the one everyone figured for a Dr. Strangelove Nazi.

Since I'll always read a FREE newspaper, even one foisted on me by inscrutable slants unknown, I glanced through this thing to see if there was SOMETHING of interest to me. And there was.

There was a photo of a cheese-faced weasel from Amazon, happily greeting all his little fortune cookies in Asia, and declaring that Bozo Bezos and the gang would LOVE to do BIG BUSINESS with Amazon.

Isn't that the cherry on top of the rice pudding.

AMAZON, not content with their greedy control of America and Europe, wants to be able to import voluminous amounts of shit into China. And vice versa, I assume. Does that include knock-offs?

Let's all embrace China, the country that NEVER comes to the aid of tsunami victims, NEVER welcomes refugees, NEVER spends anything on climate control, and has most of its citizens walking around wearing face masks because of air pollution. Oh yes, and they've cheated outrageously every time they've hosted the Olympics. And, above all else, they don't seem to give a shit about putting Keye Luke on a stamp.

This has been the usual day of personal aggravation...nuisance "telemarketer" calls telling me I've won a "FREE TRIP" and all I have to do is confirm my credit card...my fucking printer deciding not to print except on the highest ink-sucking setting...idiot neighbors knowingly making noise and waiting for my wall-pounding rage before they shut the fuck up (guess-ee what nationalit-ee) and another idiot's dog barking (same nationalit-ee coincidenta-lee)...AND on top of it, my doorstep is invaded by Chinky propaganda and a full page "story" on AMAZON making nice with the slanty Commies??

Look, it IS very adorable that on EBAY, desperate Chinese robots will offer absolutely cut-rate prices on batteries, removable tattoos, spy pens, and all kinds of cheap shit. But they have a LONG way to go before they can really be considered "friendly" or "responsible."

PS, they could also bring back APRICOT LACOTIN.

Yes, I know, the blog is ALWAYS full of obscure bits of information that send you to Wikipedia or to shutting down your computer. APRICOT LACOTIN was a powdered drink that came in a can, like Ovaltine or Horlicks Malt. How it went out of business, I have no idea. One day it was no longer on the shelf, and asking "What happened to Lacotin, will you be ordering more" got me nothing but the 10% stare hood-eyed Chinese are capable of. Lacotin had a basic cocoa flavor, but not quite. There's nothing like it. Take it from somebody who hasn't checked to find out. No, I'm not going to buy a whole fucking can of Horlick's just to have 99% of a giant can that I can only use for cat litter. I don't want cocoa granules. It's Apricot Lacotin or nothing at all!

But I digress again. Fuck Eric Idle and his song "I Like Chinese."