Fake Wrestling is now Politically INCorrect?

Part of the "fun" in the old days of wrestling was cheering the good guys we identified with, and screaming at the baddies who were symbols of all that was wrong in the world. They were ugly (the acromegaly-inflicted "Swedish Angel" or nasty "Killer Kowalski"). They were obnoxiously vain ("Gorgeous George" who inspired Muhammad Ali to make egotism comical). Most of all, they were ethnic. There was big horrible "Gorilla Monsoon," for those who hated Asians or the outrageously-named Gordo Chihuaha (fat little dog) for those not fond of obese Mexicans. Gordo's big gimmick was to get smacked with a "forearm smash," look stupified, and then crash to the canvas flat on his wetback. What fun.

There was the evil Russian bastard Ivan Koloff.

There was "The Iron Sheik."

In this homoerotic "sport," villains could also be faggoty, like "The Magnificent Maurice," who teamed with "Handsome Johnny Barrend," a bad guy who was also cowardly. Their foes were good guy tag team "The Kangaroos" (from Australia, natch).

Ironically, the heroes were usually ethnic as well, just "good" ethnics. They represented the stupid but hard-working people who thought pro wrestling was real. To judge from who the top good guy wrestlers were from an era long gone, nobody was more stupid than Italians and Poles. They filled the stadiums to watch Bruno Sammartino and Ivan Putski win.

As I recall (and it's been a LONG time since I bought a wrestling mag or cared about these idiots), Bruno was my favorite. No doubt Sammartino, or Muhammad Ali helped change the prejudices of average white fans. Probably the first time most anyone even saw a giant black guy in the late 50's or early 60's, it was "Bobo Brazil," a likable wrestler who won a lot of bouts, sharing the applause with traditional white stars like "Golden Boy" Arnold Scholand. I appreciated the more ridiculous bad guys as well, just as I liked monster movie heroes. Also, I was sympathetic to perpetual good guy losers in the pre-lims, like Pete Sanchez, who'd fight honorably, break clean, help a guy up off the floor, and end up flattened.

The weird thing was that the top female wrestler was a baddie, The Fabulous Moolah. She was short, pudgy, not very attractive (especially with the insane mascara), always cheating in some nasty way, and yet everybody liked her. She was the diner waitress who made good. Or whatever she was supposed to be.

It seemed that into the 80's and 90's, it was increasingly difficult to tell the good guys from the bad. Hulk Hogan was sometimes bad, right? And people liked monster characters like The Undertaker. But don't ask me, as I paid scant attention, except to notice that "Superstar Billy Graham" was not the religious leader, and that eventually he retired, crippled by steroids. The Fabulous Moolah would sometimes appear even into her 60's and 70's, and defeat some babe twice her size, just for a nostalgic goof. The dwarf wrestlers, alas, seemed to have disappeared due to good taste, or legalized abortion.

Mostly modern pro wrestling has been a lot of shit, made worse by the presence of stupid-faced promoter Vince McMahon. He turned everything into a gruesome, cynical circus, with way too much mindless chair-bashing and soap opera lunacy, abetted by retarded announcers guffawing over every clownish and nasty move.

McMahon became such an egomaniac he pumped himself up with drugs and tried to be a wrestler himself. A "bad guy," he ended up having his head shaved by no less a lunatic than Donald Trump. What that was about, I thankfully don't recall.

Now it seems like ethnic good guys and bad guys have been left behind. Wrestling is just garish. An irony is that ethnicity is a huge part of the real sport of boxing. Every match seems to include the national anthem of the fighter. While the PC police are increasingly stuffy about ethnic pro wrestlers, ethnic boxers are still making a fortune.

Tomasz Adamek made good money fighting almost exclusively in Poland, but also could fill up a New York venue with Polish fans from New Jersey. There are German fighters who almost never fight outside Germany and with so many alphabet-belts around, need not risk their titles to anyone other than another German.

Any fight between a Puerto Rican and a Mexican is big business. Fans seem to "love to hate" uppity niggas (like Floyd Mayweather and Adrien Broner) and love harmless little creatures who speak fractured English (like Manny Pacquiao). Fans love to see braggarts get beaten ("Hayemaker" Haye for one), while there's been a pretty even divide among those who loathed a show-off Paki like "Prince Naseem" and those who adore his replacement, A Mere Conjob.

One problem with the Klitschko brothers was they were Russian, Ukrainian, trained in America, living in Germany...who knew what the fuck they were. Now that they're gone, we're seeing more traditional ethnics and loudmouths, like Deontay Wilder and Tyson Fury. How wonderful for boxing. But the venues are still packed on ethnic pride, with Bunce and his boys cheering the expanding number of legit British champs who wave their local flags for Liverpool, Manchester or most anywhere except Grimsby.

Back to wrestling: as long as there's money to be made, the "sport" will survive, even if sour morons complain about the cathartic joy fans have in hissing someone Muslim and cheering someone who champions their country's traditional values. These traditional values include not beheading people, not bombing people, not dressing up in black cloaks, and not eating stinky halal food.

Bottom line, most anyone unable to get fame or fortune off performing Taylor Swift covers, or opening their packages from Amazon and showing off what they bought, MIGHT find a career in pro wrestling. If only 4 or 5 people want to see you reading from "Pride and Prejudice," chances are at least 10 or 20 would be amused watching you in your underwear, spreading the legs and squeezing the feet of another idiot bitch.