EBAY PANTY FREAKS - SOLD OR SOILED?

Yes, the whiffy-sniffy freaks of EBAY try everything to get past "the rules."

Do they succeed?

Here's "Mis Mala," a mal-formed miss, but who cares what she looks like. If she's got a leaky cunt and absorbent panties, who will buy?

No this was a FAIL.

It was a BUY IT NOW, but her price was too high, and she didn't use obvious words like "WELL USED."

That's how she got a BUY IT NOW (pant pant!) before eBay could stop her.

NEXT.

How about a demure bitch who doesn't pose IN the knickers, just tells you they are "clean per eBay rules?"

Lookie lookie! SIX people in an hour took a peek. Did they BUY IT NOW in time??

NO! FAIL!

After all, she was stupid enough to write THIS ad copy:

She was also stupid enough NOT to put a photo of herself in the ad, which probably prevented an instant BUY IT NOW, as the eBay sniffers have NO imagination. They want to SEE some ass or leg to know it was REALLY WORN.

PS, that line, "Pre-owned but Clean per eBay rules." No, you are NOT allowed to say it's used but it will be cleaned, or any such weasel wording.

Now how about an ad from some weird company that buys up USED SHORTS once owned by HOOTERS employees?

The ad mentions that these HOOTERS employees are a sexy bunch, and for the sake of gratuitous and lurid detail, the ad even shows the girls in their panties.

There's even a chart so you might better pick out how smelly and worn out the shorts are.

The verdict?

JUST FINE WITH EBAY!

After all, the ad says "Shorts" not "panties."

If a woman wets her SHORTS or makes them stink in some other way, oh, well, that's ok.

That's fine.

Just don't say "panties."

Put in gratuitous pictures galore.

Now then...

WHO buys used underwear on EBAY?

Could it be?

Bill Hooberstank!

He's just returned from Syria, where he tried to join ISIS in order to get his photo taken next to Jihadi John. "After all, he's a CELEBRITY," Bill said.

Alas, all he got was a souvenir ISIS shirt. He's proud of it!

As for the underpants which he's also proud of, let's just quote that Emo Phillips line:

"I got some new underwear! Well...new to ME!"