May the FARCE not be with...Spits What??

It is with the "audacity of hope" as the Big Obama likes to say, that I trust FB Purity will save me from making a rotten situation any more putrid.

I will be spared "sponsored" links, and it'll be even easier to BAN assholes like THIS:

Huh? What century are YOU in, moron? You make Ian Shitcomb seem hip.

Don't be fooled by the glowing reviews. It's pretty easy, in 40 years, to twist somebody's arm into seeing you perform in a crappy little club. It's also easy to creatively "edit" a comment into a compliment, or accidentally forget to mention the compliment was for somebody else. If you buy an ad in a newspaper or on the radio, you can also pretend the newspaper or radio station gave you the review, when it was YOU YOURSELF saying it.

The picture gives you a clue that this egomaniac is beyond the average idiot Farcebook pest.

We all know the average idiot Farcebook pest. As another blogger cogently explained, it's the fame game. It's power. It's "look at me, look what I had for lunch, look at my snapshots of my stupid dog and my idiot kids!"

Thank Christ in the real world, people don't open their wallets and say, "Lemme show you my pictures of my family..." but they sure do it on FARCEBOOK. Even worse, people suffer these fools gladly. They LIKE the item, which brings it to their feed. So you have to see the stupid thing because it's a friend of a friend. Argggh!

Yeah, this guy is a NETWORKING IDIOT. This is the small-timer who joins every possible fan group, figuring he'll be the big impressive fish in the small pond. More like the flounder clogging the toilet.

But there he is, replying to any post about guitars or violins or anything: "I like that model. Mostly I play a uke. You can see the model on MY WEBSITE..."

He's got a self-pressed CD? He'll find SOME reason every week to go to every record collector, singer-songwriter, 78rpm collector group and remind people there's still copies left of his great album.

Lately he's gotten obnoxiously lazy: he simply writes "Great...www.ASSHOLEMORON.com"

Yes, it's just a blatant reminder, or ad, that hot-links to his ASSHOLEMORON website.

Normally, a less obnoxious egocentric self-entitled pest tries to win over people with interesting posts, enough to make people want to click his name and see his FARCEBOOK page, find out more, and go check his website.

BUT...the lazy, incompetent, annoying, clueless ASSHOLEMORON takes the easy way.

I can't say he's the WORST but he's close. I mean, there was the eBay seller who, pretending he was just telling everybody in the group about the latest item he saw, put in a hot link for what HE was selling. He was very careful to never say "Check out my item on eBay." He always pretended he just HAPPENED to see something the gang might want to buy.

So this idiot goes around typing in "Great....www.ASSHOLEMORON.com" so often it really got on my nerves and I had to curse him out and then block him. This was after I checked out his site and it confirmed he IS a fucking ASSHOLE MORON.

As you see, his site is IDIOTIC.

Who the fuck is hiring a 60-something jackass to play the uke and sing obnoxious songs in a wheedling croon? Since he has no tour dates, doesn't it PROVE that nobody cares? SO WHAT IS THE POINT?

All I can figure is he's such a fucking egomaniac he wants to impress dullards by having a website. Or he thinks the losers on FARCEBOOK are so influential they'll listen to an abominable GooTube clip and hire him for a party? A funeral?

He makes sure to invade any D-lister singer's page, giving a GREAT and a hot link, as if the D-lister is going to think, "Wow, that's just what I need. If I'm ever hired to sing at a wedding and they won't let me use my karoake machine, I'll call up Snots Green or whatever his name is, and have him accompany me on his uke for $50."

Like Bill Hoobastank, this idiot has ONE sappy expression in EVERY photo. It's that crooked smile of humility: "Gee, all I wanna do is entertain ya! Lemme play "Ukelele Lady" and make you long for the good old days...before CCTV cameras and fingerprints...when there was a good chance you could murder a jerk like me and get away with it."

And no, that is not his real last name. And yes, he IS moronic enough to nickname himself after a style of shoe that nobody's worn in 60 years.

It's just so pathetically easy to cobble up a website based on having been on public access TV, or self-publishing something on GooTube, or PAYING to be on some loser's cable TV show...but this only impresses total FARCEBOOK fuckheads who can barely get their shit together when the local diaper service comes by for a pick-up.

Christ: MUSICIAN...WRITER...HISTORIAN...If that isn't the mark of desperation! All it means is this schmuck has failed in a number of professions. You can just imagine him, his foot (wearing spats) wedged in the door, cheerfully saying, "If you can't use a ukelele player, how about a singer? Maybe you need someone to write ad copy. How about you hire me to give lectures, just name the subject. I can do it all!"

Too bad there isn't an APP where people can instantly see the real names of idiots like this, and discover that they're unemployed and living off Mom or the wife. In this case, the latter.

Good Lord, one shudders to think about Amy Wagstaff-Wetone or Shauna Cuntwell or some of the other horrors getting this idea, and tormenting everyone on FARCEBOOK with rampant over-posting "networking" insanity.

Why is FARCEBOOK, TWATTER and GOOTUBE festering with people who have absolutely NO chance of making it? Why are they the ones who won't go away, and over-post constantly? They won't realize that pushiness is an obnoxious trait till they get pushed into oncoming traffic. "Hey guysssss" "Folks, it's coffee time again" "You can still buy a copy of my CD..."