Soooooo close! Last day, People! Come on! PAY UP FOR FATTY!

Some days Farcebook is just TOO pathetic, isn't it?

In surfing around among the folkies, and friends of folkies, I came upon what looked like a networking drag queen, one tossing in as many names as possible to get as many friends of friends as possible to pause and check the post, wondering "Who the fuck are YOU and how do you know MY friend?"

No, it isn't Knickerless Pain giving in to his deepest desires to wear a skirt that goes with his bad hair, and sing "Fuck Off Obama" in front of bewildered drunks.

It's a FEMALE.

It's one, naturally, who boisterously embraces her girth, is not ashamed, and figures it's time that we have another Mama Cass in the folkie clubs. If Adele can do it in England, how about THIS one in Philadelphia? Give her a break and she'll open for Stevie Nicks and make Stevie seem slim by comparison. HEY, why all these Viley Virus and Icky Minaj types, when all you really really want is a GOOD SINGER? "Am I right, people?"

Network network network!

Like I said, isn't Facebook pathetic? Depressing, too.

You can predict why this person hasn't met her KICKSTARTER goal yet.

Lack of talent? Not very individual? Demanding way too much money? All three?

This is the LAST DAY, PEOPLE! The LAST DAY!

And she's about $4,000 short.

Will she make it?? How many Farcebook posts can she blitz today? Has she temporarily hired the campaign managers for Trump, Cruz, Clinton and Sanders to stump for her and make those phone calls???

To give her a "nice comment," she's obese but she's not the obnoxious ug that Amy Wagstaff Wonky-donkey is.

But Amy was only asking for chump change when she made her horribly successful Kickstarter campaign. This creature wants $6,500 when many other Kickstarter singers only asked for a third of that? A fourth?

Many others offered good incentives, too, from "you get your name in the booklet" to "I'll name-check you in a song." Nothing so great here.

And IF I'M BEING HONEST, she's a little too old to be such a self-entitled Millennial. Even with Kickstarter, most people her age DON'T beg and whine. They invest in THEMSELVES. They save their money, self-press their fucking CD, and sell it at their gig. At best, they break even, make money, have a demo they can use for promotion.

Don't we all know people who've gone this very honorable root? They don't ask others to pay their dues for them.

The joke here, is that the fat lady declares she's investing a big fat chunk of her own money, and just needs $6,500 MORE. Really? $13,000 to make a fucking CD?

"This project is like a dream come true for me..."

Right, right, how often do we hear that "entitled" remark? "Make my dream come true!" "I want this sooooo much!" "Give me my chance!"

And be GENEROUS. If not, fuck off. Here, the fat lady will give, for a $15 donation "a digital download" of the album. That's all.

Unreal, these people who dictate what you should spend on them (as opposed to giving the money to a cancer charity, or somebody homeless on the street).

There's something basically offensive and lazy about this KICKSTARTER shit, especially when it involves a vanity project and not some invention.

And why is it that these singer-songwriters are almost always derivative dime-a-dozen nobodies? You check out their GooTube account and a performance they did somewhere, and you think, "No surprise this person hasn't made it." Anyone surprised Shauna Cuntwell isn't opening for Zayn Malik?

Our digital age has made it damn easy for people to record and master an album for next to nothing. Network and find somebody who has the recording equipment if you can't afford it. Then go to your "Big Pink" basement and record it live, and "sweeten" it if you need to. Or pay VERY LITTLE to let some club give you an hour to record a set in front of however many people don't walk out on you. But if you take the easy way with Kickstarter, you'll be part of a fucking stampede of elephants doing the same.

Kickstarter is ALL OR NOTHING. So what's the Fat Lady gonna do next? Wait a few months and try again, only lowering her price? "Keep on pestering..." that's what you do. Oh, excuse me, the word isn't "pestering" it's "NETWORKING..."