Anne Robinson: "GIVE ME SOME OF JUDI'S FUCKING AWARDS!"

No longer able to contain herself, Anne Robinson wet the floor, and then stamped her foot in the puddle of piss:

"DAMN THAT STENCH!"

She was NOT referring to the puddle she made. She was mispronouncing the name of...

"Dumb Doody Stench!"

There, she missed it again.

"I don't get it," she raved. "Awards, I mean. Why don't I get all these fucking awards they give to Stench? Why don't they hire ME to play the sour, abusive bitch in movies? The glowering, snide "no-nonsense" old dried apricot twat? The Maggie Thatcher iron-gloved matriarch the world cringes in fear of? The perpetually disapproving OFF WITH THEIR HEADS nightmare Queen that Lewis Carroll knew could ruin wonderland?

"Look, I know I'm more of a ballbuster than Judi," snapped Anne. "I can tell, because when I walk past David Walliams, he puts his hands over his crotch and starts bleating like a baby sheep."

Robinson, who insists she's the nastiest bitch since Simon Cowell, strongly believes that any role Judi has played, she could've played.

This most especially includes "M" in the James Bond movies starring gnarl-lipped twisted-eared and macaroon-nosed Daniel Rag. The guy who gets his hair cut with a lawnmower.

"Do you believe that shit?" Anne asks. "All that fat tubby old bag does is waddle around giving put-downs to the toughest spy in England, and he takes it. EVERYBODY takes it. WHY? WHAT IS WITH THIS OLD BITCH? AREN'T THERE DOZENS AND DOZENS OF SELFISH, NASTY TWAT ACTRESSES IN ENGLAND?"

Indeed.

"You've got a point, you CUNT," winked Celia Imre.