Gooker sings "HARRY RAG" for His Beloved Prince

It was a rainy day for Queen Elizabeth OBE (Old Bag of the Empire) but a fine crowd gathered just the same.

Handsome, burly Prince Harry turned up, admitting, "I didn't get an invitation from Manhattan to be the Grand Marshall for the Puerto Rican Day Parade. So, I had to do SOMETHING."

At least one celebrity came by for a photo op.

Speaking on behalf of his beloved Mr. Gooker, aka The Commode Odor, was his webmaster, flunky, Uriah Heep and part-time termite, spindly Roland the Pinhead:

"What ho! It was electrifying to see the indefatigable Commodore so enthusiastically be the beneficiary of the humanitarian Prince Harry's characteristically dependable threnody in support of Her Majesty, Whitehorn. Er, Elizabeth.

"I was hoping Harry would see I brought along my organ, but I guess it wasn't big enough. I was prepared to diddle "Whiter Shade of Pale" (but not the opening melody, of course) so that Gooker could excite a fandango. However Harry seemed to want the spotlight for himself, and barely let The Commodore nose in for a two second photo op. Soon enough, others were eagerly getting a chance, including a very large American in an even larger nappy!

"I tried to remind Harry of what near-defunct rock group had the most-played song in English history, when someone's dog peed on my leg. I heard a cry of "Muffin, be nice, save your urine for when I'm thirsty!" I lost my balance, clutched my Bristol hat as I went down, and it completely covered my face. All was Lenny Henry. I mean, black. And not funny in the least. Fortunately I can afford a private doctor, who took one look, and assured me, "You're Paler than ever." He charged four hundred pounds, plus transit costs to get me from a bus to a train to another bus to his surgery. It seemed reasonable to me.

"A splendid time was had by stalwart Mr. Gooker who covered a chorus of The Kinks' "Harry Rag" in honor of our Royal Ginger. Harry took out a nose rag, shoved it in Gooker's mouth, and took a limo to a plane to a limo and ended up on a beach in St. Tropez, sipping some rum out of Gigi Hadid's hairless twat. Or was it her sister? Or some actress or other? I have no idea, as Boko Harum is my life, and I am unaware of any celebrity under 60!

"As for my flattened nose, I'll soon be able to stick it up Gooker's arse in no time. The doctor used a sigmoidoscope with a light at the end, and pushed it up my sphincter far enough so that he could check my nostrils for any signs of snot. Snot much at all! I asked him to keep the sigmoidoscope in me, as I was planning to walk home and it was now night, and I might not see clearly in the dark. Shine on!"