Somersaults and Summer Assaults

Aren't we looking forward to summer and sports events?

Not a lot.

As an astute blogger pointed out, the combination of excruciating heat, humidity and stupidity is a powerful mix. It leaves one bewildered, if not black and blue.

The joy of "Gee, isn't this a lovely sunny day," quickly turns to, "Shit, I can't walk with all these noisy MORONS clogging the streets. Here are bicycle assholes whizzing by. And wait a minute, my mid day it's no longer lovely and sunny, it's oppressively fucking hot. My skin is sizzling."

Some savage idiots LOVE it all. It's time to get hyper, stay in the sun for baked brains and then go wild in the street.

Something peculiarly British is the joyous concept of the football hooligan. A working class football hooligan is something to be.

Rather than be repulsed by these animals, people seem to embrace them. They thrill to see just how far these idiots will go. There's admiration in all of it.

There's not quite that sense of "pride" in America. In America, jackal packs of drunken idiots are considered low-life clods. Still, nobody does a thing when a gang of bikers get together and noisily drone around parks and parkways. Nobody disperses the "tailgate parties" in football stadium parking lots. People shrug with regret over the occasional beat-down to the point of brain damage, handed to some poor mild-mannered sod who happened to be wearing a souvenir hat supporting the visiting team.

In America, "summer" sort of begins on July 4th, when idiots go insane for fireworks, jackasses stuff their faces at hotdog eating contests, and half the country clogs the highways to go pester their fat-ass relatives. But yes, we're getting a taste of it already.

About the only GOOD thing here is that in another week or two, the brats will be out of school, and in the good neighborhoods, they will be GONE entirely, packed off to sleep-away camp. It'll be possible to walk outside around 3pm and NOT trip over these obnoxious brats scurrying around, squealing like poodles.

Also in the good neighborhoods there's an observance of laws like "do not burn dead animal carcasses on a fucking outdoor grill and send black stinky smoke in all directions." Only in poor areas, and in public parks in the Bronx or Brooklyn, are the lovely minorities granted free range to set fires and get loud and yes, there's the occasional gunfire.

In all parts of town there's noisy bars where drunks shout and laugh, and not only are the doors open but sometimes the entire window is folded down so the sounds of idiots and smells of beer are hard to ignore even a block away.

It's time for the false pride of thinking, in America, that your local team reflects on YOU or your city, when most of the players don't even live in your town. The false pride in England is that if some craphouse club in Grimsby wins a match, it means that Grimsby doesn't suck.

There's ALWAYS something going on in summer...always something annoying. There's the periodic bullshit of a tennis match, whether in France, England or the U.S., with the same basic fuckheads competing.

This year there's the Zika-fest. Er, the Olympics, where we get to see just how disgusting Brazil is, with its diseases and violence and sickening heat. We're supposed to enjoy the "amateurs" from Communist countries who are paid to train all year 'round from an early age? Or are we supposed to be amused by the professional athletes now allowed in boxing and tennis and other sports, because the Commie mentality has been embraced?

The TV news is neatly divided: 15 minutes of tedious news (mostly about Trump and Hillary), five minutes of weather (with some jolly asshole insisting "it'll be a great day to go to the beach"), and then ten fucking minutes of SPORTS highlights. Even if you like sports, this is too fucking much. It's all the same, isn't it? One home run looks like another. Every goal looks the same.

Ah, the lazy hazy crazy days of summer, loaded with sweat, exhaustion, and burnt skin. What do we soon look forward to? The Fall! In September there's brief joy that "thank Christ, the fucking HEAT is OVER." But that brief respite turns to disgust; "school brats are back...there's Halloween, Thanksgiving, and gee, two fucking months preparing for Christmas." Oh yes, and in America, one of the most idiotic presidential races in the country's history, which by the time it's over in November will have gotten on everyone's nerves. In fact it's already a fucking nuisance.

Already, anyone sane is thinking "I wish Summer was OVER."