Lah Dee Dah says Mr. Lard

"Lah dee dah, it seems that the world is always in a kerfuffle. People are being shot. There's rage over a bad economy. There's fury over who gets free benefits and who suffers and starves. Me, I'm very wealthy here in Sussex, and my concerns are buying hundreds of records and waddling home with them.

"I examine them, put them on my dinky turntable, put them on my dinky scanner, and upload them for no real reason, quite frankly. I just have nothing better to do. I can't go walkies all the time, I can't go into London and suck cock at Pleasuredome all the time, and I sometimes actually get a bit bored watching squid ripen.

"Lah dee dah! I can spend all day sitting on my fat arse, waiting for a fish to think it's getting a lovely treat, only to get a hook in its mouth instead. Ha!

"Now, there's a certain company I now use, and it turns out they are, like most every Internet company, lax and dismissive of copyright. Do they make rights owners go through hoops? My goodness, they just IGNORE rights owners entirely! They don't return e-mails at all, not even to request further information.

"This company has a hollow-sounding answering machine and it seems like they have a staff of about TWO people. If you want to BUY something, you can press a button. Anything else? You can just leave voice mail. Ha!

"Well, possibly to my detriment, they've received a voice mail reminding them of their own TOS. My goodness, I've been violating their TOS? What a kerfuffle. I'm hoping they will just IGNORE it all, but maybe, just maybe, I'll have to chirp like a fat Robin and ask people what to do next, now that yet another company has kicked me off.

"My goodness, TOS. Why do these Internet companies even have such things???"