Bye Bye, Blundercrap Nuisance

"I have a little list...he will not be missed..."

Blundercrap Nuisance died the other day, and no, it didn't even make the impression of mouse cough, much less a thunderclap.

This idiot had one of the most annoying, straining pussyfied voices of all time. It could be called a falsetto, but that would imply he had balls. That's hard to tell from his retarded-looking stupid face, which would make John Sebastian throw up.

Looking at the Beat-Off clip (ironically posted on GooTube by somebody called Bobby Cole), I was reminded of just what a hippie-dippie parody this cheeze-doodle of a song is. First off, the arrangement steals blatantly from Beatle-Pepper, and the lame attempt at singing about revolution (and you can count me OUT) steals, doesn't it, from the fucking Youngbloods. Didn't those assholes come first with that stupid "come on people now, smile on your brother, every body get together..." piece of crap?

I sort of recall Andy (not to be confused with RANDY) Newman singing that awful song at the tail end of "Magic Christian." I remember even then, thinking "Thunderclap" was an inappropriate name for somebody singing in such a lame, weak, pot-addled voice. This is a guy who could barely get out of bed. He ain't rallying his g-g-g-generation, and I don't care WHO supposedly was behind him.

Christ what an idiot. "We've got to get together sooner or later. Because the revolution's here, and you know that it's right." What drivel. When there's John's "Instant Karma" and "Revolution" and even The Youngbloods' "Get Together," (to say nothing of moribund junk from The Grass Roots), no wonder this one-hit blunder is justifiably forgotten.

What an utterly ineffective and uninspiring mess.

Who even cared what this asshole did over the next 40 fucking years. What, he kept wandering around in a daze, with new idiots working with him, like the drummer with the last name of Brassiere-sticky?

Mark knew he'd have to say something ridiculous to be quoted. Right, use the word "genius" for an utterly derivative song performed by somebody with no singing talent.

Brassiere-sticky spent time playing in a one-hit-wonder's band? How pathetic. Come to think of it, that's his M.O. He's always been in groups nobody cares about. He's circling the drain in Big Cunt now? He was actually a member of Boko Haram, when they first began their comeback and started raping Nigerian girls to try and get a piece of soul. He stuck drumsticks up their assholes while Crooker jammed the mouths and Whitehorn plowed the twats.

(Cilla: "Doesn't that seem rude!")

But back to Blundercrap. Really, if you want a legit one-hit wonder hippie dippie asshole, go seek out obnoxious egocentric Norman Greedbum, of "Spirit in the Sky" infamy. He's still alive, still trading on that ONE song, and isn't going quietly. He even has a website where he cautions people NOT to write him a fan letter UNLESS he's approved first. (So it's ok to send him an e-mail. Might big of you, Abnormal.)

I have no idea why anyone liked "Something in the Air," even back then, with its monotonous lyrics, stillborn singing, and Beatles-rip-off melody. I guess it appealed to numbnut morons who didn't even have the energy to do anything but listen. Great, Blundercrap Nuisance is singing for me, stoned out of his mind, and parroting "revolution...you know that it's right" in a silly voice that sounds like an "Upstairs Downstairs" maid.

The assurance was that the revolution would arrive even if you did nothing but say it would. Guess what. It never did. (Or was it just because some nigga insisted the revolution would not be televised?)

Nuisance had only one hit, because he didn't have the energy to do much more. I guess he may have turned up on cruise ships or a few "flower power" oldies shows when he needed money for his brownies, and a new pair of jeans and a fresh bandana for himself (oh, and one to tie around the dog's neck...assholes LOVE to tie a bandana around a dog's neck).

He's dead. Do I care? No. Maybe Brian Hyland does. He can go attend Nuisance's funeral and when they open the coffin one last time, he can plant a goodbye on the man's dead lips, "sealed with a kiss."