Friday, April 1, 2016

Dave Bury is Not Dead

A check of one of the upcoming oldies shows reveals that "Dave Bury" is NOT DEAD.

Bury's one of the zombies who will be performing for overweight maggots, and won't die of embarrassment doing it. Which is similar to his Negro cousin, Upchuck Bury. Some people are not going to be denied the chance to make a week's wage for singing two or three songs when asked. Especially when nobody asks except for once a year.

If you don't remember this creature, here's a photo. What can you say about the 60's spookiest lesbian?

Some wondered how a hand model could ever have a career as a singer. Others wondered if it was Timi Yuro in disguise (as a male). Nobody's sure if "Dave" is actually short for Dava, or whether the sexuality here is gay, straight or too virgin to be sure.

A fairly recent oldies show reveals that our star no longer has any voice at all, can't hit high notes, has almost no range, and has no charisma either. The question is how the spooky lesbian morphed into a dull baggy-eyed world-weary homo of the Ian McKellen variety.

To say something nice about Bury, let's say that no matter how Bury performs it, it's better than the version from that cum-gargling clown-faced mincing joke Boy George. But not better than Brenda Lee.

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