Sippie Cup for Kiddies? PISSIE CUP for TENNIS PLAYERS!

So far the only interesting news out of Wimbledon, is SOME GUY PISSED IN A TENNIS BALL CAN.

He didn't do it out of spite. He just didn't want to wet the famous grass.

It points up how rigid the RULES are, just about everywhere on just about anything. Wimbledon RULES say that only two bathroom breaks are allowed during a game.

It doesn't matter if the game is droning on and on with a fifth-set tie breaker taking HOURS.

Adding to the humor, the MEDIA fucks up as always, thanks to no proofreaders and Millennial morons working as interns, and a MALE player ends up being called SHE at story's end.

Yeah, yeah, we ALL get it...shit and/or piss breaks can be abused. A tired player can feign stomach cramps to take five minutes off and go sit on the toilet in an air-conditioned bathroom.

But just to be prissy and pissy, the judges here give a "code violation" for "unsportsmanlike conduct," because the guy covered himself with a towel and pissed in a convenient can?

Then they insist he didn't really piss, but the violation was for some OTHER type of "unsportsmanlike conduct?"

Hey, where's the GOOTUBE footage when you want it? Or do you want it?

Women are notorious for their weak and tiny bladders. In a third-set (they don't play five) tie-break, would Serena be denied a chance to squat an extra time? Would she make it a racial issue or a feminist issue if a few ball girls gathered around her with towels so she could relieve herself in a golden trophy bowl?

Fact is, the civilized world is quite barbaric when it comes to the simple acts of pissing and shitting. There are never plentiful bathrooms, and most decent and clean ones are "for customers only" in restaurants or high-end shops.

What would've happened if this guy simply covered himself with a towel and pissed all over the grass? It would be proof he wasn't kidding, and if it was done within 20 seconds or so, would that be reason for a delay-of-game penalty??

Then he'd simply be in the "disgusting sports photo Hall of Fame." He'd share space with, for example, the hapless marathon runners who had to deal with piss, periods and diarrhea...

Yes, we remember some of these, don't we? Some very famous runners are now best known not for winning a race, but for losing control.

Meanwhile, the tedious Wimbledon tournament is winding down to the semi-finals. Zzzzzz. We're supposed to care whether ass-faced Roger Federer wins again now that his two main foes are long gone. We're supposed to care about the fucking WILLIAMS sisters, who rival the KARDASHIAN sisters for being most deserving of a big shout of "GO AWAY ALREADY."

The Brits continue to care if Andy Murray wins or not. And, IF I'M BEING HONEST, I don't even know if Martina Hingis is playing mixed doubles at Wimbledon or not. While she is one of the few players who relies on artistic skills as much as raw power or speed, watching the multi-millionaire Swiss Miss is not a big priority for me. Eventually, at least for women's tennis, the ratings will dictate: clothing optional.

I'd add "no stopping for bathroom breaks at all," but as amusing as that might make the games, it wouldn't do for any stadiums outside Germany and Japan.