The bad news: it's hack romance novels written to a formula, and sold to lazy obese chocolate-eating bints whose vibrator batteries won't even turn on for them.
Lockyer daughter up or she could be another mouse-faced "romance" author, another infected boil on the butt of the literary world.
And, gosh, YOU could be a romance author, too. Anyone can float a bad piece of crap up to KINDLE and NETWORK IT and make MONEY. OK, not MUCH money. Maybe NONE AT ALL. But dangle the carrot. (Excuse me, dangle the "large, firm, perfectly shaped plunger that could ravage all night.")
Why, if you get 5,000 FARCEBOOK FRIENDS, and 100,000 TWITTER PALS, maybe (let's be generous) 1000 will take pity and buy your book to "support" you. After all, you're a "FRIEND."
Since the average unknown's romance book can't list for more than $3.99, and your costs in hiring somebody to make the book into a pro PDF can be $1,000 or $2,000 or more...you'll probably be looking at a net profit of $2,000 tops.
Which isn't bad if hubby is working and you're getting free government cheese. You can call yourself a writer, ignore the kids, and sit in a room getting your nethers juicy as you write about muscular and romantic Fabios. PS, you might as well sell your "fragrant" "aroma-filled" panties on EBAY for another $25.
Let's stop for a moment.
Inspiring, no? NO.
What the FUCK is so wonderful about either a KINDLE or even a REAL romance paperback? Unless you're a craven twat like Nora Roberts (today's version of Barbara Cuntland), you aren't making a living. Unless you're a lucky fat freak like pudgy, brain-dead masochistic no-talent E.L. James (who fucks herself with huge chunks of horse shit for inspiration), you don't get the amazing royalty check.
There's a sub-jungle of semi-pros who have entire series of books; ten, twenty, even SEVENTY of 'em, and you know they're knocking 'em out as fast as they can till they dry up and drop dead. Quantity will only get them a woodpile of yellowing pulp novels in the attic.
Meanwhile, since the media has to hype A LOT OF CRAP to fill a website or a newspaper, let's read more about some stupid low-budget documentary that won't break even, and a dog-faced bitch. Isn't she lucky? She got a book published AND the hook of "amateur gets on Kindle" brings a weary staffer around to write it all up. Sort of like those articles about some jerk who wins the lottery.
Yeah, yeah, this is the LAST we'll hear of this giant nose.
(PS, Ringo turned 76 today).
She "won't say" how much she's made off this paper turkey of hers. At best, she'll join the wan, self-congratulating hen house of clucks who waddle from bookstore to bookstore, convention to convention, signing autographs for other hens, while being ignored by the REAL PUBLISHING WORLD.
Meanwhile over on eBay, Sri Lanka wogs take the entire book sets of these hens (especially E.L. James) and offer mobi, epub, Kindle, PDF versions. $5.99 will buy a dozen books, easy. $9.95 can get a download link for 70 of 'em. Or more.
All they have to do is say: "Ebay, I am the copyright owner," and ha ha ho ho hee hee, they can get their "fair share" of the fly-covered pie. If they get suspended because several authors have complained, they come back a day later. They'll even declare they are in Washington or California or Texas to try and hide their filthy actual location, and, yeah, eBay doesn't care about that, either. Use a "report this item" link and the category "wrong location (seller faking place of origin)" and nothing happens.
Oh well. Let eBay sellers make their nickels and dimes, and let dizzy bitches write their silly formula fiction for nickels and dimes. A lot of Americans aren't making more than that, and they do have to pay for the trailer park rent and meth.
A big percentage of Americans are living in poverty, not finding jobs, not getting health care, never having a raise or a vacation, and wondering who the FUCK is living the American dream.
The American Dream of prosperity and the easy life...it sems to only apply to Muslims pushing their way into the country, and Spanish-speaking surly scumbags loaded with self-entitlement and the Zika virus.
As for big nosed dog-faced Aussie asshole Lockyer, she should know that Muzzies don't read ROMANCE novels, and Mexicans barely read at all, and if they do, they expect dumbed-down Spanish versions. So lady, as Dylan might sing it, "you ain't goin' NOWHERE."
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