Allman, Tucker...WHO the fuck Cares? Especially in NY??

No wonder the Greg Allman and Marshall Tucker Band concert tickets are going for half price.

WHO the fuck cares?

Events like Schmuck-a-Palooza and Gassed & Buried are for hardy, young, naive drug addicts who think that sweltering in the sun or floundering in the rain is KEWL. They come home and have a week to recuperate, and then declare "It was AWWWWWWWWWWWWWESOME, DUUUUUUUUUUUUDE."

But who the FUCK wants to see two fossils from the lame days of Southern Rock? People who like these guys have to be, what, 50,60,70 or OLDER?

Toothless old men with faces like roadkill?

Ex-hippie chicks with tits hanging to their waists, and their 6 or 8 child-bearing twats hanging open enough to stuff a loaf of bread into?

The already rather bargain-priced show ($40) now has sections where the price is cut in half to $20.

Still, nobody wants to go.

This would probably not even be an A-ticket in Georgia. Maybe they could get $60 or $100 there? Or don't the redneck meth-eaters down there have that kinda money no more?

It would make more sense to hold it in the South or Midwest somewhere; someplace where the smell of gasoline is ripe in the air, and motorcyclist assholes can roar in from a thousand miles of empty highway, and camp out in drainage ditches and behind dumpsters. A few maybe could manage $40 for a Motel 6.

Long Island? The motels are expensive and getting there is impossible.

Long Island has often been described as "a giant parking lot."

That's what it is during "rush hour" where cars crawl into or out of the city, as hicks living in ticky-tacky boxes blow all their money on gasoline, tolls, and upkeep on their cars.

On the weekend of THIS pathetic concert, the roads will be clotted by day-tripper morons driving out to area beaches, to sit and roast while smelling the stench of red tide and dead scallops.

The biggest nearby areas of redneck bastards in flannel shirts and shit-stained khakis are in New Jersey and in Upstate New York. Both are a very long way from the bloated middle of Long Island where this awful show is to be held.

PS, if you DON'T take a car, you'll take a bus to a train to a train to a bus and then probably have to hire a cab.

No, if you're over 40 the idea of a rock concert is more likely to be INDOORS, and among sane people who aren't on drugs, aren't screaming WOOOOOOOOO after every song, and most definitely are NOT shouting "Shine On" or "The Commodore is STILL in splendid voice, so say I, Brave Roland-the-Twit!"