Right; Dead Fred

What's bald, brown, and sounds like a bell?

GEOFF DUNGGGGG.

And now for something completely different. A little note about the Python's version of George Martin.

You can see him in the photo below. He's (yawn) one of the idiots in ugly drag.

I know, there are WAY too many misogynistic twits dressed up in drag for the photo. Python had this idea that the average British woman was unbearably ugly and shrill. In sketch after sketch, that's all you saw, except for Carol Cleveland once in a while, usually stripped to her bra, stockings, knickers and suspender belt, mincing down the beach in distress.

The guy in front of Eric (the half a pain in the ass) Idle is a "Fred Tomlinson." In fact, he is THE "Fred Tomlinson," since there's nobody else by that name who has any kind of fame at all. Which is that he was behind the scenes on various British TV shows, in a George Martin type of way.

WHAT the FUCK is he famous for? Well, near as I can tell (and I'm an ocean away), he was basically a music arranger. If you had some stupid music and wanted to make it funnier, you asked Fred to step in. Or step in it. Dad's Army. Two Ronnies. Monty Python.

Apparently, the same way George Martin turned the otherwise boring "Mr. Kite" into a stunningly weird tour-de-force, the right said Fred added color and craziness to "The Lumberjack Song" and "Spam."

IF you can STAND listening to either of those again, you'll note that instead of being simple stupid tunes (like "Eric the Half a Bee") they have a cartoonish sense of orchestration to them, suggesting the educated nuance of a classically trained musician.

"The Lumberjack Song" builds with a dramatic introduction, just like something out of Gilbert & Sullivan. After grandly talking about wanting to be a lumberjack, there's a sudden shift as the counterpoint chorus offers silly harmony. Palin's cheerful transvestite sings a heroic melody, always ending with a reprise of the idiotic chorus, which becomes more disgusted as the song moves along. In true Gilbert & Sullivan fashion, the heroine finally emotes. Well, one horrified line.

I recall Carol talking about how carefully she had to "wait for it," and get it right each time they did it live (over, and over, and over again at various "farewell" shows).

If you bother to deconstruct it, "The Lumberjack Song" is indeed some mini-opera, with solo and chorus, and couldn't have been put together without an expert conductor/arranger.

As for "Spam," that's another variation, as the waitress's disgusting recitation cues another jolly chorus.

Is it any wonder that "The Lumberjack Song" and "Spam" are probably the two most famous Python songs? What a coincidence that both involved Tomlinson, who dramatised them and who knows, maybe even added a line or polished up the melody.

Ego being what it is, the Pythons tended to make it seem like they did everything. But no, they didn't produce their show and now and then others made solid contributions. If you check the song credits on the record label (remember record labels??) there is that mysterious OTHER name added: "TOMLINSON."

So a salute goes to dead Fred, who grew up in an era where musicians got paid, nobody whined on the Internet "give me money so I can do something," and performers didn't delude themselves that they were still relevant because a few escaped Nazis in Finland or Holland gathered around to drink beer and say "Shine On" as they listened to a set list as boring and flavorless as a 1945 can of Army surplus c-rations.