Twit Brit in the Shit - Daily News Editor a Joke Among His Piers

Recognize this guy?

Colin Myler?

I guess, enthralled by the magic of Piers Morgan, he was handed the job of NEW YORK Daily News editor because...oh, Lord, the Brits know how to run a tabloid!

But now, he's on his way out, as the rival NY Post (run by Rupie the Merde Ox) gleefully explained today.

IF I'M BEING HONEST, I'd forgotten that Colin had been named editor. But I did wonder at how LOW CLASS the fucking Daily News had become. This included headlines that toyed with near-profanity, a Photoshop collage of a politician covered in dog shit, etc. I wondered why the Daily News had become so opinionated (they LOVE horse-drawn carriages in Central Park and have done dozens of slanted articles about it). I also wondered why the DAILY NEWS website and the LONDON DAILY FAIL website tended to cover the same topics and use the same photos.

So the truth is, The Daily News wanted to find a Piers Morgan, or more accurately, a slimier version of Piers Morgan, a secretive snake who'd do dirty things without calling attention to himself.

But The Snooze (as the Post lovingly calls it, most any time they write about their rival) doesn't have the Fuhrer that the Post has. Their guy, Mort Zuckerman, doesn't have quite the deep pockets involved to lose a lot of money JUST for the fun of being "powerful."

Kelly, in the Post, is one of the few columnists who covers the magazine/newspaper world. I think the only alternative is to subscribe to the much less juicy trade magazines, like Publishes Weakly. Er, Publishers Weekly.

Kelly always has the dirt. He tells us that Myler makes 1.5 MILLION DOLLARS a year. That's gotta be a lot more than he made at the Daily Mirror in Great Britain. Myler's view, not shared by his staff, was to put less emphasis on crime stories and puff up the sexy celebrity stuff. Oooh, Kuntrashian!

Kelly: "The failing strategy did not bring in enough money to offset the advertising revenue and circulation declines on the print side. Losses at Myler’s News are said to be close to $30 million a year."

So who in their right mind would take on a newspaper that LOSES that much money? Another "real estate mogul." Kelly names him as some fuckhead named Steve Witkoff, who obviously has no wits, but just wants to be a jerkoff and walk around saying "look at me, I'm the PUBLISHER of the DAILY NEWS." I assume.

Zuckerman, by the way, was fairly lowkey. I don't recall ever even seeing the schmuck on TV, and I think the only editorial he wrote was in support of Israel during one of the Israel-Palestine conflicts in which the entire world was basically saying, "It's time for another Hitler-sized pogrom, and let's blow Israel off the map and then go after every Jew we can find."

The alternative to Witkoff is a big fat disgusting Republican-Conservative billionaire shitpile named John Catsimatidis. He likes people to call him "Cats." I remember his name because it sounds like "Cats On My Titties." This gruesome slob owns real estate (of course) and an overpriced supermarket chain that might make Tesco seem like a bargain outlet. "Cats" wants desperately to have as much POWER AND FAME as he has money, so losing 30 million a year would be worth it to him. He probably has the arrogance to think he can reduce that deficit a bit. He's 66, so what else has he got to do before his mammoth heart attack? According to Kelly, the first thing "Cats" would do would be ax the Brit who is the current editor: "I’d rather save more jobs than pay $1.5 million."

Gosh, Piers, this might mean that Colin Myler could head over to the London Daily Fail, and be the editor of YOUR column. Or, more likely, fire you and write it himself. After all, it doesn't take much skill or talent to write: "Kim Kardashian showed off her ample bosom...Courtney Stodden showed off her ample bosom...Katy Perry showed off her ample bosom..."