Do Lange Do Lange - He's so FIne

Zo, VAT is up mit our porky pal Matthias? Ya ya. He vent to Noo York und is STILL posting about it on his GOOTUBE channel.

Who are Herr Lange's followers? WHY are they impressed by his lame tourist antics, his hoarse and ugly voice, his freakish squinty eye, his blob body, and his BORING idea of a good time?

Finishing DEAD LAST in Der Master Race, here's Eatin' Like a Horse at the Natural History Museum.

A moment later, a large mallet came down from the ceiling and cracked him on the head. He didn't feel a thing. He kept right on pressing the button, waiting for something to happen.

The next day, he bought a surprising item, and lugged it home to that cluttered monkey-cage he lives in.

GOOGLE TRANSLATION:

"Hello. I brought back from The America, a curious box.

Everywhere I went, whether it was blocking the way on an escalator, or standing and fussing with every gizmo at the Apple Store, or just wandering the hallways of my hostel with my camcorder, I heard the same two words: BLOODY CUNT!

It was, "What are you doing, BLOODY CUNT" and "I can't believe this BLOODY CUNT is here" and "Look at the BLOODY CUNT."

What is this? So, I went looking for a tourist-friendly souvenir shop, and there was this place called DRUGSTORE. And I walked in. And I said, "What about "BLOODY CUNT?"

A woman put her finger to her lips and said, "Shhhh, over here," and handed me this box. I paid for it. But I was still confused. I do not understand the English. I have brought this TAMPAX home, and UNWRAPPED it.

It seems to be an American form of cotton candy. Or, "candy floss" as they say in England. I unwrapped one and ate it. It did not have much flavor but it was quite filling. I had a few more. All I can guess is that people saw me and figured I would like to eat "BLOODY CUNT," and that TAMPAX is the best brand of it."