The Shrewd Shrew Jumps Over the Lazy Shauna

Sad, sad, and SAD.

Basket Case has indeed reached her "first goal," which means she KEEPS the MONEY.

Most artists are too proud and professional to beg. They would NEVER go on Kickfarter. They wouldn't act like a 6 year-old at her own birthday party, screaming ME ME ME, and GIVE ME PRESENTS to everyone and anyone.

Thanks to some fairly shrewd wheedling, she got dozens of people to PAY for her vanity CD. They all no doubt feel very smug and proud of themselves for "supporting" such a "worthy" artist...a plain-faced egomaniac.

For a mere 35 or 50 pounds, they get a signed CD and maybe get put on the guest list for a local show. Woo hoo.

The reason she's over the top, though, obviously has to do with either a relative or whoever licks her twat. Which could also be a relative. Might even be her kinky mum.

SOMEBODY is paying for this bitch and a few idiots to play in a living room somewhere.

She also got a few people to pay a HUNDRED (or more) to she'd sing a fucking song on GOOTUBE and give a shout out. "That was my cover version of "You're Too Fat For Me," and I dedicate it to Eitenliker Horst! Thanks, you lovably obese Nazi!"

It IS disheartening that pushy people get ahead so often.

But they do. I see it time and again. It's tempting to be like them, and be so arrogant and self-entitled.

I was outside a classical concert venue. Free show. Naturally every cheap fuck wanted to get in, so the place was packed. A long, long line was full of disappointed people, as two goggle-eyed guards closed the door and announced, "No more room."

It was possible another few seats would be available once every idiot was seated, so the guards were shutting the door, ready to admit only a FEW people more, or maybe some relative of one of the performers.

From the back, some Darren-type jerk began pushing through. "Excuse me, excuse me," came his grandiose self-important bellow. He got to the front, where I was. "They're not letting anyone in," I told him. "Excuse me, excuse me," he said, pushing past me. He acted like he was REALLY IMPORTANT. Who was I to say, "Who the FUCK are YOU?"

This bulky bastard was now at the front of the line, WHERE HE DID NOT BELONG, acting like he was going to tell a guard he was the President of SONY or something. But he just stood there.

One of the dumbass guards wandered away to help some old bag to a seat, and HE opened the door and sneaked in. A moment later, a few others tried it, but by then a guard had noticed and blocked the way. But Mr. Important had gotten through.

The rest of us were turned away.

I could mention a dozen other incidents where pushy or obnoxious jerkx got ahead, but the bottom line is that in reality, they don't. The fat pig who pestered and pestered to become a volunteer? Yeah, be careful what you wish for. Now he sweats like the pig he is, hauling boxes around. Sure, he gets a big fat free lunch, and he can cart away any books or DVDs or CDs he gets his piggy fingers on, but a lot of the other volunteers quit rather than have to endure him. He jerk who hired him now has less volunteers and a much less friendly atmosphere. She can talk to the pig, and eat with the pig, and watch him shovel pizza slices down his gullet in a few gulps.

Mr. Obnoxious who pushed ahead on line won that time, but maybe the next time, he'll do the same thing and somebody WILL shove him abck and tell him to FUCK OFF. If he tries it again, he gets a punch in the chops as well.

As for Basket Case, all this means is she'll have a shitty acoustic CD...and a closet full that nobody wats. She'll never get past the level she's on now, with her idiotic local gigs, and pesty appearances at obscure folk festivals.

She'll have a bunch of GooTube videos to point to when, in another year or two, when she's prematurely gray, and the blossom in her cheek has turned to chalk, she's retired and exhausted. Or knocked-up or both. "I gave it a try," she'll see with a crooked grin.

She's been at it TWO whole years? Oh, how FORTUNATE for you, darling. From a mere street busker to...one of the thousands who got a review in an obscure publication, played obscure dates, inflated the resume, and self-published a fucking CD or two. Her face and body guarantee that she will NEVER be anything. The folk world is small and there's no shortage of idiots strumming away. Her songs are nothing. Her voice is OK. That it's better than Shauna Cuntwell's voice is hardly a compliment, and she won't get any kind of effective agent or manager.

There will come a time when NOBODY will be dumb enough to throw away A THOUSAND SMACKERS just so this bitch can warble a tune on GooTube and say "special thank youuuuuuuuuuuuu!"

She may have "networked" to a certain level with her guile and her ego, but that's where it stands. And yes, we can stand no more. See us, Basket Case, when you win Britain's Got Talent, or have a song in the Top 100. In other words, you will remain OUTASITE. And I mean that in ONLY the most perjorative way. PS, Cilla Blackledge says you're a Pinocchio-nosed shit-eyed twat. And SHE rarely says anything rude.