"Eat shit, Lange!" "Yah yah, GLADLY!"

While in Der New Yawk, Matthias the Squint managed to waddle over to visit a "legendary" artist nobody ever heard of.

You know, one of the new guys like Banksy, who does "art" that anybody can do.

But what a wonderful surprise he found! A DOCUMENTARY HE HAD TO OWN!

"Yah, dat's for MEEEEE," he shouted.

As you can see, "Horst," as he's sometimes known or, "Eatin' like a" Horst, is incredibly OBESE. He puts any kind of shit into his useless body, one that neither sex wants to see. Now, he's learned, thanks to a brilliant artist, the secret of losing weight.

If you only eat one type of shit, you get very bored. Eventually you just lose your taste for it.

The fallacy is that slobs with no self-control aren't going to stick to ANY diet for very long.

Sad to say, Matthias was caught cheating about five days into his horse manure diet. He was seen at his neighbor Adie's fence, licking up pigeon shit droppings.