Scabs of the world, unite! Low-ball all the legit photographers, writers, singers, moving van operators, limo drivers and even old ladies who bake cookies for charity. Join FIVERRRR. GO on Craigslist. Swarm all over Farcebook. Tell the world YOU can do it CHEAPER AND BETTER!
HERE'S AN ENDORSEMENT FOR
SHAUNA CUNTWELL, PHOTOGRAPHER!
"Dear Cutie Pie,
You are sooooooo talented! I was trying to change my image.
I needed a new photo.
I am known for being a fat, obnoxious white guy with a repulsive, grimacing face.
Thanks to your Photoshop prowess, you took a photo of my face, and did THIS:
This is perfection! The portrait of a grimacing white guy you see on GooTube will be replaced by the portrait above!
Now everyone will know I'm really a dirty cunt! You captured the real me!
Darren Lock."
Fabulous Shauna can do it all, in the nickel-and-dime world of the Internet. At her age, this is BIG money, and she figures it's only a matter of time before she signs deals to do cover photo shoots for Vogue. The multi-talent minx will also get a contract with Taylor Swift's management agency (sorry, Bill!) and make FIVE THOUSAND a day doing the voices for every princess in Pixar and Disney films!
What a wonderful world! FIVERRR! KICKSTARTERRRR! GOFUNDMEEEEEEE!
Want to pawn something? Be one of ten dozen trying to sell the same DVD on EEEEEBAY! Lower your price to a penny, and offer free shipping!
PS, if you're struggling to make a living, have doors shut in your face, or deal with "take it or leave it" bosses at work who belittle you, YOU can get free services from the government, a lovely place to live, and spending money, too! [Immigrants only!] .
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.