Super Bowl Stinkers: BOB DYLAN and JERRY SEINFELD

Yes, it was a dull and boring "Super Bowl," which included fans furious at the inconvenience of going to New Jersey for it, and locals pissed off at Times Square being shut down for asshole events (including asshole moose-faced Mayor Bill De Spastic playing games with his mushroom-headed moron son).

The best the papers could do, was try and point to the wonderful million-dollar ads that ran on TV.

According to the papers, the biggie was having three members of "Seinfeld" reprise their characters. Yawn. "Jerry" and "George" went into a diner to indulge in some very unfunny bickering...with "Newman" showing up at the last minute to making an ugly leering face and show that he's gained back all the weight he lost when the show went off the air.

For my British friends, let's just say that it would be just as hilarious for the lead characters of "Only Fools and Horses" to be hauled out of their graves and shown mouldering for 60 seconds.

The other ad that seems to have gotten after-show attention, featured Bob Dylan. I wonder how many who watched it even knew it was Bob. Maybe that's why, halfway into it, there was a shot of Bob Dylan songbooks. That way, most people who didn't pick up on the cool voice, would finally get it. So what was Bob shilling? Oh, how AMERICAN the automobile industry is. Git it? AMERICA...land of cool things, and ultra hipness, and baseball...sells CARS. So, Bob growls, "Let Germany brew your beer. Let Switzerland make your watch. Let Asia assemble your phone. WE will build your car."

Jesus Fucking Christ.

Right, let other countries make billions of dollars...including the fucking Chinese making the Apple products and phones...but a few hapless darkies in Detroit working on a fucking assembly line...THAT is what America and Bob Dylan is counting on? First off, Detroit is still fucked up, despite Obama supposedly saving the auto industry. Second, most people drive a Toyota. And third, Chrysler, the company Bob was pitching, IS NOT OWNED BY AMERICA IT IS OWNED BY FIAT.

PS, Bob, ever hear of St. Louis? Isn't that where Budweiser is made? Ever hear of Schlitz, "the beer that made Milwaukee famous"? How about Schmidt's, brewed in Philadelphia? How about Coors of Colorado? You really tellin' the American public to drink imported beer from Germany instead?? And Timex? What the fuck is wrong with Timex, an American company last time I checked the time?

A more realistic spot would be 60 seconds of "Everything is Broken."

Or 60 seconds of swastika symbols behind "The Times They Are a Changing," followed by four words: "Google is Your Friend."