Watch out, HANS....They know ALL ABOUT YOU. Government Hackers SPY AND SPY AND SPY

I LOVE IT...these assholes who troll forums and spew their filth, and create blogs to give away porn videos and every record album they own, and start up torrents and smugly tell the world they can never be caught.

Right, right, some ISP app you stole off Kickass is going to protect your identity. Ho ho, ha ha, hee hee.

First off, there's Big Brother Google, and they know what you've written on your g-mail account, and know all about your blogs, and know all about what you bought with Google payments.

Then there are the professional criminals that run sites such as Megaupload...the ones you trust not to abuse your credit card, and to keep your e-mail account safe, and to let you download all the shit you want in total anonymity. They'd never sell you out, right? The guys who run that forum you love, where you post dirty pictures and confess to all kinds of illegal activities...oh, nobody would have reason to pick on a few targets for potential blackmail one day.

And then...there's YOUR OWN GOVERNMENT.

Right, tulip-breath. YOUR government. The one that lets you suck their teat for welfare money and retirement money and the rest of it. They wouldn't want to...keep an eye on you and take a good look at everything on your computer and/or monitor everything that you've let fly via e-mail to others. And they wouldn't somehow find a way of quietly turning on that sneaky camera computers happily provide for you...so they can spy on everything you do in your room.

The story is about a British spy organization, but don't worry Hansy, don't worry "Zin," don't worry Christer the Swedish Meatball, and all the rest...one day there will be a knock on the door and they'll haul you away for twenty or thirty years, because they've completed a dossier on you and let you pile up the offenses. Maybe it was the illegal downloads. The embarassing and illegal porn of questionable taste and ages of the girls (or boys). Whatever...YOU thought you were safe and anonymous, just like those pimply-faced teenagers hiding behind the Guy Fawkes smirk-masks. No, no, it's one of the big traps.

You can't scam and spam forever. And if you're just some innocent person who walks his beloved dog Muffin, and never EVER does anything dishonest and creepy, not even uploading an old Kay Starr record...YOU are being watched, too. A person like that, the last you'd suspect, could very well be a child molester, or a drug dealer...or, what the fuck, it might be amusing to watch Mr. Ordinary Citizen getting his dick licked by his beloved dog Muffin.

Yes, the government is checking your e-mail, using devices to turn on your computer's camera, finding ways to check on where you've used your credit card and what illegal sites you've been downloading from. You really bought into "Google is Your Friend" and that your purchase (or illegal theft of) some "spam detecting software" or "Internet cyber guard dog" is really going to save you?

YOU are a prime target. Aside from government spies looking for legit troublemakers, or those that could be fined a huge amount...YOU would be a fun target just for a change of pace. "Hey," says the government agent, "I'm tired of reading this Muslim terrorist shit, or adding up the number of times Hans the Douchebag has offered Beach Boys albums because he's a latent homo with a fetish for topless blond guys. How about I surf a random bunch of e-mails and check for dirty photo attachments? How about I flip a few switches and take some infra-red footage of people having some kind of bizarre sex just a few feet from the computer...."

AMUSEMENT is important, too. Spies can get bored. It's very ENTERTAINING to enjoy some secret peeping at your expense. Yep...all the money you saved by going to Zinhof and Kickass, and all the fun you had by mouthing off in a forum about what a dangerous dude you are...time to put on some aluminum underwear, because YOU are getting BITTEN in the ASS.