The Killers & the Rednecks of Upstate New York

To some, "Upstate New York" conjures up images of Woodstock, and summer camps, and the Catskills, and wine country. Apple orchards and even farms. But, unfortunately, "Upstate New York" is also loaded with deadbeat assholes and redneck morons.

When the two Tillie-fuckers, both murderers, escaped prison, they knew how easy it would be to find empty cabins and hide in the woods for days at a time.

Cabins like THIS ONE, which they actually used.

The filthy hunter in a red-checked flannel jacket isn't just knocking birds out of the sky in Minnesota or Wisconsin, or hollering "yee haw" while trapping a gator in Florida or shooting the eyes out of a puma in New Mexico. And he ain't just wearing his revolting pizzle beard in South Carolina while blasting possums. He's all over upstate New York slaughtering deer for fun, while listening to horrible bluegrass music and country crap.

The scary truth is that psycho rednecks and hermits can live very nicely in low-rent cabins all season long if they want to, and every now and then there's been the uncomfortable story of home invasion, or of some nut with a rifle setting fire to his neighbors' homes or snipering his enemies until he himself is picked off.

While there are some slivers of expensive land, and some affluent communities (and even a few extremely expensive resorts in rebuilt areas), there are blue collar and red neck hell holes, too, and quite often some grubby Devil's little acre can be uncomfortably close to somebody else's rolling hills of paradise. Yes, there are some truly idyllic spots up there, where you can wade in the water, breathe fresh air, and think you're going to meet Washington Irving or Ben Franklin on the sidewalk outside a rustic inn. But there are shitty small towns that are bland and ugly, and too many wooded areas where rifle bullets fly and deers suddenly cross.

Matt & Sweat had a lot of fun relaxing in these cabins. The one pictured above has a typical arrogant, stupid sign on the pathway: "“Hey Asshole! This ain’t your fucking land!”

That's supposed to alert the "Asshole" that a bigger asshole might be around, and could even be pointing a rifle. This obviously didn't deter Matt & Sweat, who spent days in this well-provisioned cabin, drinking liquor, eating canned goods and survivalist grub, enjoying candy bars, and who knows, turning on the TV to check on any news about themselves. Yes, this is inside the cabin. And God Bless the American Flag.

The two murderers escaped at a very good time. Many gentleman farmers and seasonal home owners don't move into their cabins till the true start of summer...JULY 4th weekend. They take all of July and August off (and if they're school teachers, that's very easy to do). The odds of these two finding empty cabins was very good, and while it gets chilly at night, they still could easily navigate at night by the light of the moon to their next destination, unseen by drones.

There are ads in the paper for CHEAP ACREAGE and CHEAP CABINS NEAR TROUT STREAMS and all the rest of it. While taxes are high in New York State, deadbeat redneck morons can do very well if they're handy with tools and don't mind using an outhouse even. They don't care that much about gourmet food so canned goods and a drive to a cheap fast food joint or diner is fine. As for burglars, well, rednecks aren't likely to own an expensive computer. They also don't waste money on soap.

Not a single report has dwelled on what a repulsive part of the world the prison is located in, or that the fifty square miles around it, are full of dense forests and even denser people.