Times Square Sleaze: Costumed Character Cunts BRAWL

Times Square used to be dangerous. It still is.

It's now a revolting, garish tourist trap. The stores are grossly overpricing everything. The restaurants are garbage. And the big deal of "get your photo taken with a cartoon character or a half-naked slut" means that psychotic illegal aliens and other demented jerks can, and do, get VIOLENT.

Freakish wombat-faced Mayor Bill De Lousio and his ugly wife don't know what "classy" means, so they aren't upset that unlicensed pieces of shit are using copyrighted costumes to grub money off tourists.

The chaos in Times Square is dangerous to everyone. This includes a guy "documenting" this Times Square scene by recording some video.

He ended up on the pavement with blood dripping down his face.

No, it wasn't from a fight with a cartoon character. It was in flight from a family of cheap Jews!

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Yes, the documentarian in Times Square was recording the circus-like scene in Times Square. He noticed a bunch of Jews (men in Orthodox black clothes, women in headscarves) babbling in Hebrew and in French. They were trying to figure out what souvenir photos their Jewlets should get. One Jewlet had skipped over to a Muppet figure, grinning with delight.

The two bearded Jews (male, one might assume) then began to "negotiate" their business transaction. The documentarian started recording this strange Jewish ritual. The Head Jew waved Hello Kitty to come into the picture. He pushed another Jewlet to go stand with Hello Kitty and the Muppet. Then he upped the ante and another Jewlet skipped over. This prompted another cartoon character to come in. What? Three kids and three characters?

The Head Jew sent his last remaining Jewlet in. OK. Everyone ready?

The Head Jew and his brother (or brother-in-law) both started taking pictures.

Joy to the world? No, OY to the world.

Because NOW the cartoon characters wanted to get PAID. They wanted TIPS.

The Jews spoke Hebrew. French. English. But the words "PAID" and "TIPS" they didn't seem to understand. The Muppet kept asking for money. This family of Jews were living up to the stereotype of cheap. Would they tip ANYTHING??

Reluctantly, the Head Jew pulled out a wad of bills that would make a bank manager plotz. He riffled through 20's and 50's like it was a fucking Rolodex wheel. Finally, he found a five.

He pulled it from his wad, and holding it with two fingers, like he was reluctant to make any contact with a non-Jew, he dropped it into the paw of the Muppet.

So far, no violence.

The Muppet pointed to the other two cartoon characters.

With a shrug, The Head Jew said, "Split it among yourselves." No way was he going to give $5 to each. A few Jewlets and a few photos with three costumed sweaty illegal aliens underneath? You do the math.

Besides, there's no law that says you have to tip at all.

$5 was more than enough, The Head Jew figured. Maybe one or two of the cartoon figures were willing to move in on him and demand more money OR ELSE?

That potential violent encounter did not happen because...

The other male Jew who didn't offer any money at all but took pix of his own kids mixed in with the other Jew's kids, noticed the guy "documenting" all this.

Spitting out the words in an outraged shout: "He has camera! He has camera!"

It was fine for him and the other Jew to take pictures in Times Square but...

But what? Like the Muslims not allowing a drawing of Mohammed, you're "not allowed" to take a photo of a Jew being cheap in Times Square?

Or he didn't like the idea that the documentarian was getting FREE pictures???

Racing forward with anger in his eyes, the Jew shouted, "GET CAMERA!"

Cue the documentarian to get the fuck out of there.

BUT...in a scene that you hardly believe when it happens in a movie, he doesn't run more than a few yards when he stumbles and falls flat on his face.

"He has camera! He has CAMERA!"

Fortunately, there's no shortage of cops in Times Square (especially since there's a little police station kiosk IN Times Square). The cops are instantly on the scene, and tell the bloodied documentarian, "Stay down."

A cop then tells the enraged, jabbering Jews to back off.

"He has CAMERA!" the Jew keeps shouting. "He take picture! He take picture of kids!"

The cop takes the camera. "What were you doing?"

Answer: "Documenting. Taking some movies of the crazy stuff you see in Times Square!"

Cop: "What kind of movies were you taking? You have a thing for little kids?"

Documentarian: "Huh? What? NO. Take a look at what I filmed. There's nothing wrong with what I filmed, and there's no special attention to kids! There's footage of buildings, people in costumes, and stores, and everything. I was NOT taking pictures of kids!"

Cop, looking at the footage: "You're real sick."

Cop's partner: "Some kind of pedophile, we got here."

You've heard of good cop bad cop? Here's BAD COP and WORSE COP.

Cop: "Why did you start running away?"

Documentarian: "Because these two psycho guys were coming after me. They could've stolen my camera or broken my camera. What would I do? Tomorrow they fly to Israel or France, and I'm out a camera. THAT is why I started running away. Am I bleeding?"

Cop, looking at documentarian's face: "Yes. You want medical attention?"

Documentarian: "No, I was just curious."

Cop: "You can't be doin' what you did. You been arrested?"

Documentarian: "No."

Cop: "You tell the truth! I'll find out if you're lying! Gimme your ID. Gimme your wallet. OK, I'm gonna run your name and find out!"

Cop 2: "Stay down. DON'T MOVE."

After another five minutes, with a huge grinning crowd standing around hoping for violence, the cops determine the documentarian is not a wanted pedophile. If they ran the ID through Interpol, determined he is not a wanted paedophile either.

Cop to Crazy Jews: "He's allowed to take pictures. In America, you are ALLOWED to TAKE PICTURES. Now you continue doing whatever you want to do. GO."

After another few minutes.

Cop to documentarian: "You go THAT WAY. Get out of Times Square and I don't want to see you around again with that camera."

And so it goes. Tourists flood into Times Square dropping millions of dollars, and occasionally dropping somebody with a camera. The mayor would tell you the tax revenue is good for the city, but won't explain why the crime rate has soared, rent has soared, and quality of life has plunged. Or why he married someone whose wrinkled face looks like an elephant's anus.

He and the city council also haven't explained why blatant, open copyright infringement on Marvel, Disney and Muppet characters is a good idea, why licensing is not required, or how the city benefits when illegal aliens in costumes do a cash business and don't pay a cent in taxes.

Maybe there should be a documentary on this...but someone trying to do one might get bloodied and traumatized while filming!