Mabel Harrison Reaches 100 - Stars Reach Limit

It was a surprised Mabel Harrison of Grimsby, who received a 100th birthday card in the mail.

"Who the FUCK is this git?" she asked.

But the card explained, "Famous celebrity selfie-collector Bill Hoobastank wishes you Happy Birthday."

With his very own Facebook page, and a Photobucket account showing the world about a thousand images of himself, Mr. Hoobastank is convinced he's now as big as the stars he's photographed with.

And he is, unless you've actually heard of Bob Bingham and Frank Vincent...to name just two of the "stars" he PAID to pose with him.

So many people think if they pose with a celebrity, or rant on YouTube, or have that one-two punch of being on Farcebook & Twatter, the world is paying attention.

"But I don't WANT a photo of this grinning fat goon," Mabel said. Nobody said reaching 100 would be pleasant. "OK, maybe I can put his picture under me, as a wee-wee pad."

Meanwhile, Back in the States, Bill's habit of lumbering over to celebrities and looming his huge moon face at them, has tried the patience of some.

This was a near-death experience.

Sadly, it was only a NEAR-death experience.