Hey, Media Whore Chrissy Teigen - Shoot Yourself, It'll be Great Publicity!

I never heard of Chrissy the Low-Class Cheese-Faced Half-Breed Slut Monster before today.

And that's saying something, when virtually any ugly mongrel tramp is unavoidable on the Internet. And that includes Rumer Willis, who hasn't even showed off her skanky naked ass yet.

Today? Jesus Fucking Christ. Chrissy Links. TONS of them with the same stupid story.

What the FUCK did this bitch do to deserve all this attention?

She did a Viley Virus, and kept on posting a topless picture of herself. As in "Nyaa nyaa, I'll keep re-posting, like some fuckhead with a Beach Boys album to give away."

As in, "It's Freedom of Speech! I'm a Feminist! Free the Nipple!"

As in, "Why doesn't Julian Assange show his ass, too? Let's have total transparency when it comes to useless pieces of shit who should be six feet under?"

INSTAGRAM, to its amazing credit, doesn't like its media whores to be topless. So Chrissy kept posting there, FOR THE PUBLICITY.

It's pathetic, huh? She could post her nudie shots on her own website.

Despite Instagram's admirable restraint, you can type in TOPLESS on other major sites, including EBAY, and see THOUSANDS of photos much more explicit that Nipple Girl's self-promotion. You can type TOPLESS on Google and not come up for air for a week.

So all the idiot sites, TheDecider, Gawker, Retard Times, Huffingcock & Stuffingcock, etc., ran blurred shots of the great Chrissy Teigen's titty.

Meanwhile, in a zillion forums, and on a million blogs (make it a million and ONE, but I'm documenting, not admiring), the completely naked one has been shown. Tit-da!

She's grimacing like she's smelling her own crotch.

If this Down Syndrome doll turns you on, with her pretzel pose and fugly expression, you must be one desperate squirrel monkey.

Speaking of which, this pathetic dirtbag is apparently married to diarrhea-faced overrated stupidly named octaroon "Johnny Legend." He's no Legend. He's not even Lionel "Star of Glastonbury" Ritchie Bitchie. But in this talent-starved world, all that a "Johnny Legend" or a Pharrell has to do is stand there and croon and be mocha, and everyone cheers.

Meanwhile, since "REALITY SHOWS" are such important news, TheDecider, The Illiterate, The Plagiarist, and the rest, are front-paging Johnny and his slut for being on...a REALITY SHOW...OOOOH OOOH.

And what did they doooo, oooooh ooooh?

Ha ha ho ho hee hee, JOHNNY told the world that the pet name for Chrissy's fishy, slobbering cunt is "clovis."

Please, don't tell Putin, or the balance of power will shift.

We're supposed to watch this shitty show, or click the link, or jump up and down and roar because some bitch calls her twat "clovis." Harrrrr harrrrrr, me hard-ons. What is more exciting than THAT?

As to the three very ordinary turds who are in the picture above, well, not only can ANYONE be on YouTube, ANYONE can be on a reality show and bore the world and get paid for it.

Who is so lonely and pathetic that they want to watch THOSE THREE assholes smirk and giggle and blabber inanities?

As for the "clovis" anecdote, it doesn't get any funnier or more interesting no matter how breathlessly it's spun.

Real news would be Chrissy "Clovis" Teigen putting a bullet in Johnny Legend's head, sucking on the warm gun for a moment, and then firing one up into her own skull.

Add Caitlyn Jenner pistol-whipping Kanye with her dick, and then the entire Jenner and Kuntrashian Klan all drinking tainted Kool-Aid and dying, declaring "The End is Here," and you've got a HAPPY FUCKING DAY.