Who doesn't love loud, smelly, flea-ridden, slobbering DOGGIES?

What? Outside dining is too sanitary and quiet?

Some cunt-bitch Jewish idiot politician named Linda Rosenthall had nothing better to do than come up with the "feel good" legislation of allowing diners to have their DOGS with them at outdoor restaurants.

Many trendy-fuckhead parts of the city are overloaded with "outdoor" cafes. This is because Yuppie scum and Millennial morons can't eat a meal unless everyone can see them.

They don't mind sitting on the fucking sidewalk, with the stench of air pollution and bus exhaust and screaming brats and jerky Puerto Ricans blasting the car horn that plays "La Cucaracha," as long as they can be seen having their LAH-DEE-DAH latte and chomping on a breadstick.

Really, nothing is more un-appetizing than a fucking outdoor restaurant in NYC.

So let's make it worse.

As it is, many restaurants violate the rules by letting Yuppie scum have the dog leashed up next to them, with a metal water dish on the pavement. That's especially true of a mediocre chain called, get this, "Barking Dog."

What could be a more charming name? It's so easy to enjoy and digest your food when there's the sound of a BARKING DOG. (The logo has, yes, a barking dog, with "barking" lines coming out of its open yap).

Nevermind that other patrons don't want a dog suddenly snapping at them, or barking because DOGGIE wants the dinner that person ordered.

Nevermind the fleas, or the dog licking its balls or anus in front of everyone.

Nevermind trying to get to your table with a dog locked around your leg and humping your shin.

Nevermind how Yuppie scum will let the doggie sit on a chair or hop on the table or lick the dishes.

EVERYBODY loves DOGGIES, right?

DOGGIES getting to dine with their neurotic, obnoxious owners...the feel good story of the day.

Hey Linda Rosenthal, forget any legislation about ISIS, or Muslims, or protecting New York City from maniacs in burkas. Nevermind soaring rents, De Lousio's crime wave, or quality of life.

YOU have lowered quality of life with your stupid bitch-cunt legislation, wasting valuable time and resources to create more aggravation in the world.

I get the idea Linda has a dog and she fucks it so often it howls every time she goes out to a restaurant by herself.