How Farcebook Can Kill a Morning

No, no, I can't check FARCEBOOK first thing in the morning.

It's worse than the NEWS.

First off, I was bombarded by idiotic memes, most of them unfunny and on topics I don't care about.

Next, celebrities telling me where they're doing concerts (thousands of miles away from me, thanks). And worse, NON-celebrities bragging about stupid shit they did in some local dump. Here's a NON-celebrity who tagged a celebrity I follow, JUST so MORE people could read his pathetic bragging.

A no-talent ugly amateur asshole who does clown shows and Grade Z local plays.

Oh, that gave me a lift with my morning coffee. NOT.

PS, I don't drink coffee. But after checking Farcebook, maybe a morning dose of St. John's Wort would be helpful.

Hmm. How about a game. Some mental stimulation. A little creativity anyone?

What's this?

Ah, a STUPID idea for a game, and it's being wrecked by an over-posting witless pest, of course.

One of the sad truths about FARCEBOOK is that you don't find a lot of people who think like you and appreciate the same things. You are looking for people to help you form a reassuring clique against the mob of morons. Instead you're overwhelmed by MORONS.

This guy took what could've been a mildly amusing word game and destroyed it by taking EVERY movie, and adding BACON into the title, whether it made sense or not. Whether it was funny or not. He overwhelmed anyone else who tried to add something (something that was better than his, of course!)

CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM, puppy.

Naturally, he got several "nice" comments about how he "won" the game. He couldn't be topped.

Lastly, no FARCEBOOK morning would be complete without several "feel sorry for me" sob sisters talking about an upcoming operation, a heartbreaking news item (usually involving a puppy) or pointing to a GoFundMe page where "anything you can spare would be appreciated."

Yeah, I needed to see THIS:

I've blocked so many people, including my longtime friend Weelsby Woods. I've also ticked "keep as friend but don't see their posts," but the eyesores just keep coming.

So I went over to Twitter to see what my intelligent friends are saying.