He then corrected himself: "Shucks, I mean, we'll be whoring a Hologram tour. We milked Glen Campbell for some ectoplasm. He had no idea we were even doin' it. We mixed it with beer that Hank Williams III threw up, and then had Willie Nelson smoke it through a bong and blow it into cloud-form."
The result? "Sheeeee-it! It's the spitting image...of something spitty.
"But what the fuck, Patsy's fans will love it. There's no other woman who means as much. Or If I'm a' bein' honest, there's no other woman whose estate has lapsed and we don't have to pay anything to. We sure couldn't do it with Tammy Wynette."
Why not?
"No, Wynette."
Stupid people have been enjoying holograms that are merely filmed footage projected in three dimensions. Since it's called HOLOGRAM, it doesn't even have to be that lifelike.
"Hell," said noted fan-blob Bill Hoobastank, "I'd love to have my picture taken with a hologram! I've had my picture taken in front of tombstones, at Madame Tussaud's, and in front of barely alive D-Listers that haven't made a picture in so long, nobody's sure if they are dead or alive. What could be more FUN?"
Bill repeated, "That's not a rhetorical question. What COULD be more fun? "Mourning over dead celebrites in hologram form seems a great way to show you're alive. I love going to graves to take photos of tombstones — it's like I've met the star! Most of all, I adore meeting half-dead-looking people like Louise Lasser who seem like ghosts of their former famous selves! What IS more fun than that — if you're a fucking brainless ghoul?"
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