Bill Hoobastank, owner of the newly formed company, says, "We don't have the budget for a completely new film. What we intend to do, is take the best moments from the old "Carry On" movies, and insert some Millennials!
"My new find is the very laughable Shauna Cuntwell. She thinks she's attractive even though she has no tits! People see her flat chest and start tittering! She also has silly idiot mannerisms and sings like a dying chicken. She's perfect as Barbara Windsor's young cousin, Shauna Coldsor.
"In a highlight scene of hilarity, Shauna nervously tries chest exercises to uplift what she's got and build muscle where there's no fat. As she strains and strains, she pees and shits in her diaper. Yes, I've loaned her one of mine! She does some amazing farts that sound better than her singing.
"20th Century or 21st Century, some things never change. Well, I change. Five or six times a day. But laughing at the sound of a fart, or a girl's top suddenly coming undone, that's surefire comedy!
"We've finished some test footage, and it's tested the patience of every audience so far. That's great! The idea is for people to get out of their seats regularly and go buy popcorn and candy and drinks.
"The film will be in color and Vistavision. We're using Windows Vista and a program that converts all our camcorder footage to AVI. Shauna thinks AVI means "A Vaginal Itch," and considering how many times she shaves each day, she has plenty of reason to be scratching herself! I've offered to apply a soothing warm creme, but she keeps slapping my hand and kicking me in the crotch."
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