Pastor Jordan Brown - Dickhead Shit-Brain Liar Religious Hypocrite of the Year

The year is STILL young, but let's give a shout-out to obnoxious Pastor Jordan Brown, a publicity seeking prick who FAKED being the victim of gay bias.

Call him the faggot Tawana Brawley.

What makes a turd like this float? What the FUCK is in your feeble mind when you're supposedly a Man of God, and thou shalt lie your stinking turd-faced head off?

Pastor Jordan Brown, just about the lowest species of selfish garbage you can find wearing a collar. And that includes a lot of dogs.

He flung his shit at the fan when he PRETENDED that Whole Foods (of all people) deliberately wrote "FAG" on the cake he ordered.

The only thing dumber than the message would be Jordan Brown's dopey face, which looks like a bunch of past-expiration-dated chunks of liver hastily dumped in a pile.

Christ (and he should know), there are plenty of real examples of bias towards gays and/or blacks. But since he couldn't seem to provoke any, to make himself a big shot and get donations, he made up a story.

It was a story that maligned the entire reputation of Whole Foods, a chain of stores that does try, in their expensive way, to provide alternatives for people who don't like white bread, don't want Maltilol in their frozen food or other Monsanto-type manufactured inedibles, and don't want to buy cheap eggs from a stinking factory where the hens are caged so tightly they can't even move.

Whole Foods is a supermarket for people that don't want a ton of chemicals in their food, and are willing to pay a little extra to encourage organic farmers and small businesses that respect the environment.

Given the volatile nature of BLACK LIVES MATTER and other jackasses, it's possible Pastor Asshole could've gotten a Whole Foods store torched. People are so willing to believe the worst and get out their frustrations by rioting. Or just screaming and hollering and picketing and malicious maligning.

So he's just another self-entitled self-promoting self-wanking jerk off.

It could've been worse. He could've been one of this shit-faced dimwits who sets fire to something, and then is seen reporting the blaze and pretending to be a hero. Only the fire goes out of control and does a million bucks worth of damage.

So here's a guy who figured he'd become a national figure of sympathy, Trayyyyyvon Faaaaaagot.

And now? NOW?

What a fucking ingrate pork-head. For some reason the photo above references that a Whole Foods actually built a store in fucking Detroit! This character is from Austin, Texas.

But the point would be that Whole Foods is more than fair to the BLACK community. Opening a store in Detroit would be a loss leader. Between the shoplifting and the disinterest in buying anything healthy, any sane chain would AVOID God damned Detroit, a near-bankrupt hovel.

Imagine that Whole Foods in Texas, where black or gay employees had to wonder what was going on, and customers thought twice about shopping in a place that could be picketed and where they might even be shot for entering.

And THIS prick thought he had a bright idea in carefully un-sticking the sticker on the box, adding FAG (or whatever the fuck he did...maybe buying a blank cake and "decorating" the entire thing) and making a big farty stink.

One reason this pisses me off so much is that I've known REAL gay activists, ones with REAL courage, ones who took REAL chances. They protested visibly, forcefully, at a time when there weren't preening "we're here and we're queer" people mincing about, a time when being out of the closet was dangerous and a disgrace.

I think of one guy (who died of AIDS) who wrote for a gay newspaper and actually went into city council meetings and other high-profile events to protest and shout till he was literally hauled away. If he had to spend a night in jail he was prepared to do it. And here we have a sneaky and low HOAXER, no better than insane Tawana Brawley who made up a story of being sexually assaulted and abused, a story that led to REAL abuse for the white police officers.

Jesus. A pastor, of all people. How stupid. How utterly stupid, but this guy has seen so many hoaxes, seen so much conniving, and no doubt forgiven so many members of his slimy congregation, that he thought he could pull this one off.

Now he's supposed to get sympathy and be forgiven.

He fessed up. Sure, because Whole Foods said they had surveillance footage and plenty of evidence that he tampered with the cake. They also had an employee, GAY, who could testify on their behalf.

This case is so much more odious than the usual redneck white trash jackass who plants a roach or a mouse in some piece of McDonalds food and rants that he's shocked, SHOCKED and wants a million dollars for mental stress.

I hope Whole Foods leaves this jerk hanging for months. They can choose when and if they want to prosecute this prick for libel. Let him keep hiding his gay, dick-widened sorry ass. It all amounts to just another lesson in how GOOD it is to be cynical.

Maybe one day Ronan Farrow will let slip that he's been harassing Woody Allen just for the free publicity. Maybe Susan Sarandon will admit that all her inane political remarks and the showing of her droopy cleavage was just an act to revive her very saggy acting career. Oh yes, there are great pretenders....