Ludicrous Twitter Battle of Dinosaurs - John Cleese vs Piers Morgan

So sorry. So pathetic.

This is the 21st Century, so a "battle of wits" is almost impossible. Can you name two people who could seriously engage in a high-class verbal duel? Or even a calculated one where you can wait a few hours and get help from your friends and then...TWEET?

I won't even bother listing some of the disappointing, downright stupid "feuds" in the past 15 years. All they've yielded have been dirty words, childish insults, and the kind of "no you didn't" "yes you did" bullshit you might expect from a bad day at the "Argument Clinic."

Speaking of which...

John Cleese took to Twitter when he read a typically pompous remark from Piers Morgan.

Zzzzzzzz.

I don't know why Cleese even bothered to Tweet about something he read from Piers "Irrelevant" Morgan. Piers is no longer an editor. No longer a judge on bad reality shows. No longer a CNN host. He's some sort of guest columnist-provocateur idiot for the London Daily Fail.

It seems like John resented the picture Piers painted of two guys glowering at each other with contempt. Apparently Cleese figured HE was the only one glowering. Who knows. Who cares.

John's Tweet was not witty or funny. All he said was he detested Piers Morgan. Morgan, at least from what was reported, got in the much snarkier line, "Now you're getting malicious and nasty — do you think I'm one of your ex wives?"

Not funny or witty, but snarky. Piers line "When are you going to be funny again. It's been a few decades" is true, but the truth isn't necessarily hilarious.

Cleese's comeback "When are you going to be talented. It's been a lifetime" was from the "I know you are, but what am I" school. If a few writers were sitting around a table searching for a comeback, that one would've been rejected as "too easy" or "too hacky."

So we've got a pair of dinosaurs spit-balling at each other, as if they're arthritic and toothless and have no other weapons. It's sadly unseemly for Cleese to bother giving attention to the terminally self-important Mr. Morgan, now so much a parody of himself.

So it is, that people don't debate each other, or square off on a talk show; they tweet. How many millions of tweets have skittered through cyber-air? Any of 'em truly a blockbuster and memorable? No, these tweets appear on your page with all the power of a feather lightly teetering at the bottom of a sick budgie's birdcage.