Darwin Porter -- Publishing's Biggest Turd disses Jackie Kennedy Onassis. Liar Deluxe mates with London Daily Fail

What a surprise. Here comes some bloody cunt from the London Daily Fail, falling over her tampon string to get at the computer and breathlessly announce a new turd sizzling out of the asshole of Darwin Porter.

There have always been "renegade" publishers...cynical bastards chuckling over just how far they can go with their hideous lies. I've known a few of them, and I've even met this turd Porter once. The underside of publishing ain't pleasant.

Fact is, there are a lot of cynical scum who sleep very soundly after spending a day twisting headlines, misinterpreting photos and cheerfully attributing "unnamed sources" or "a close pal" with salacious quotes about a star.

I've watched it countless times...editors and publishers with an evil gleam in their eye, as they get their jollies by insulting and degrading their betters, and "putting one over" on gullible readers who don't know any better. Their tricks include searching for a photo where the celebrity blinked and her eyes are half closed...and screaming "Here she is...drunk again! Look at how she can't keep her eyes open." Weasels like Porter seem to maintain lists and pick on all the stars who won't dignify idiot gossip and won't get into a battle that'll give more publicity to their enemies. "Gosh," say the morons, "if it was false, the star would've sued, so it's gotta be true." No, it's that stars know that only the most outrageous lies...which can be proven to have hurt a career or cause a suicide attempt or something...will ever get action from a judge. And the money awarded in damages is usually minimal.

You can guess what the outrageous lies from Darwin Porter got from readers at the London Daily Fail...a whole lot of "no better than she should be" huffs and sneers. "Oh, that Jackie O, we all knew it. Of course she had sex with JFK and ALL his brothers." Of course she jumped into bed with every dead celebrity Darwin could think of, from Brando to Holden. Of course, Of course. "Eww, that's the classy Jackie Kennedy?" the cows who read the Daily Fail comment. The idea that Porter could be telling lies? Impossible. He's an author. He's published. That makes it true.

Only he IS the publisher. The company ONLY publishes Porter books. It's a two man operation...two parasites. They've got quite a racket...write fiction, make it as outrageous as possible, and call it fact. Or...don't call it fact, just let everybody "assume" it's fact. Porter could easily claim,"Oh, it was fiction. A pun. A palindrome..." whatever...but he doesn't have to, because American law says that once you're dead, you can't be slandered or libeled. Your estate can't do a fucking thing about a book...even a piece of garbage...because it's protected. If Porter started selling Jackie t-shirts, he'd get sued because her likeness is owned by her estate. But selling a Jackie book? No. That's "journalism" and "fair use" and legal.

Over at Amazon, he gets scorchingly negative reviews that scream at him for being such a vicious liar. Does he care? Of course not. He's got quite a racket. Every rotten book he writes sells to stupid people, and bitches like the London Daily Fail cunt, are quick to point and say, "Porter, author of 20 books..." as if quantity means quality. As if any of them ever got an award or a good review in any major newspaper. (I've gotten good reviews in major newspapers).

Fucking idiocy. I know all about it. As I said, I've observed weasels in publishing...I've turned down some of their more rancid ideas on what kind of books or articles I could do for them. I'd rather die than write the kind of books Porter's written. I've spoken to people who've known some of the celebs he's sullied, and they've shaken their heads at his nerve...and at his incredible ineptness, too. Porter will state X fucked Y at Z location...when a simple check of facts would prove that X never knew Y and was on the other side of the world at the alleged time of the incident, not at Z location.

But why go on. Caroline Kennedy will be shielded from ever seeing this shit, and Porter will be busy in a few months scanning the obits for the next atrocity...or maybe he'll go re-hack Marilyn Monroe or James Dean. But one day he'll pick on somebody...Cobain or Lennon or whoever...and say the wrong thing, and an irate fan wikll knock his fucking teeth down his throat. Maybe he'll pick on the great Princess Diana and the same stupid Daily Fail readers who are snickering about what a slut Jackie is, will suddenly be shocked, SHOCKED, and outraged at the story of Diana being a sandwich between Elton John and David Furnish, or the time she gained revenge by seducing Camilla's horse, or how she and Dodi masterminded 9/11. Don't laugh...because Darwin Porter does. I'm sure he gets a great kick out of the cruelest and most obnoxious lies his pea-brained mind can think up.

I thought about ignoring the prick...because any publicity is good publicity. Any time there's a headline with his name involved, stupid people are prone to simply go "Hmmm, Darwin Porter...I remember the name..." They don't realize the words DARWIN PORTER are spoken with the same contempt as ADOLF HITLER, or BAD BREATH. As soon as I saw the fucking headline in the London Daily Fail...I instantly thought, "OK...this has to be another Darwin Porter farce." And it was. You can smell this guy's work a mile away. And I wish he was a mile away and six feet under.

Maybe somebody, after Porter's been murdered, will write an amusing "tell-all" book in the Porter style, with all kinds of colorful anecdotes. Like how Porter topped Charles Laughton at sucking shit-covered cocks, and was once gang banged by John, Robert and Teddy Kennedy lookalikes. How about how he wrote his books while dressed up as Gloria Swanson?

How about the gossip of the time he swallowed a quart of sperm as it gushed from Rod Stewart's ass? Or how Led Zep band members made him slip his tiny dick into a sardine's ass, fuck it, and then eat it? How about how he'd acquired Ramon Navarro's Oscar statuette and used it to bugger himself with it on the anniverary of Ramon's murder...which he actually contracted two guys to commit?

Oh it's so easy to write things that the readers of the LONDON DAILY FAIL would believe. You can just see their comments. Things like, "I was walking my dog Muffin, while reading that piece about that horrible Darwin Porter. I believe almost all of it. One thing I know is a falsehood, as I was the one who drank all the sperm out of Rod Stewart's ass. I did it in record time, too...in the three minutes it took for me to play a Matt Munro single I acquired at a boot sale..."

Nah, why write about Darwin after he's dead? Just knowing his corpse is dust in the wind...will be enough.