Bad News for the Brothers Grimsby

Yes, just like his brother, poor Stan Grimsby is no longer allowed to leave COMMENTS at the prestigious Tell-a-Laugh.

"I hope they explain it to me," says Stan, "but that's counting on somebody being able to write a letter. They aren't very literate over there. I mean, not unless they're burbling over some bad restaurant they were bribed to promote, or unless some twit like David Gest is scheduled to drive through Freeman Street, waving while holding his nose. I think they still expect David to show up, even though he's as dead as their circulation.

"Most papers thrive on the amount of COMMENTS they get, since it's so easy to fake a big circulation by claiming a lot of "hits." What's impressive is if at least five or ten people actually take the time to comment on your hackish drivel. So why shut people off without even the courtesy of a warning?

"The odd thing is that it's so easy for spammers to come back over and over and over. It's also fine for some moron to constantly post at these spammers, "Give it a rest," as if THAT does any good.

"The sad truth is that "Freedom of Speech" is reserved for defenders of piracy, as an excuse for allowing porn most anywhere and everywhere, and for never backing away from showing Kim Kardashian's fat ugly naked ass.

"We've come a long, horrific way from the days when there was pride in independent thinking, and when Great Britain wasn't dominated by a bunch of bearded psychos shouting "Allah Akbar" and decapitating Christians.

"My idea of a proud Brit was Billy Bennett, who comically tweaked the League of Nations and everyone else, and didn't get banned for it. He said, "What I like to see in a newspaper is a good feed of fish and chips." Oh how times have changed. In Grimsby you're more likely to get hummus 'n' curry served with stray armpit hairs in it, and the Tell-a-Laugh is more useful lining the bottom of a bird cage.

"The Tell-a-Laugh is a dying obscure promotional rag with no future. The increasingly dangerous and illiterate inbred chavs are driving people away. Which is sort of like a backed up toilet sending guys fleeing a men's room already stinking of piss and homo semen. Going in there was already a dodgy thing to do. Expecting the place to ever be repaired or fit for anything but low class monkeys is expecting too much.

"Right now desperate criminals are picking at the town's corpse and foraging in the decreasing number of shops that are still open. Big chain stores know better than to stay open in Grimsby, where shoplifters, drug addicts and incontinent editors from the Tell-a-Laugh bump heads and often, unwillingly, bump uglies. Fish have beached themselves on Adele, rather than swim in local waters.

"What can possibly change? A better question is WHO can possibly change the underwear of Tell-a-Laugh reporters who are shitting themselves over how close they come to being victims of crime. Their office is often a sharp stone's throw from a rape, robbery or fire.

"In a few years, Grimsby will become a no-go zone, full of Muslims who are even more psychotic than pinheaded chavs and meth whores. The paper will try to survive by printing every edition in Polish. Nice comments will never be published because Polish people can't read or write. Meaning, the Tell-a-Laugh will have outsmarted itself, which is not hard to do with a staff of retards.