"The Tooth Won't Fade Away!" (song from The Prodigal Dentist cd)

Disclaimer: actually, Roland's work flakes off here, here and here, because he's a flake. He's got as many credits in dentistry as he does in proofreading or being paid to write anything besides Boko Harum palaver. He's just an emaciated transsexual (female-to-male) working as a Bristol school teacher. His pastimes include drinking beer with overweight, florid-faced men from Denmark and Finland, pestering termites into buzzing in iambic pentameter, and getting "pay to play" money from off-key dementia patients who are then wheeled on stage to shout "I'll blacken your Christmas and piss on your door."

His main claims to fame include being able to identify every past and present member of Boko Harum just from scrotum photos, leering at people when they read Hoban books in public, and being the model for the long, filthy stick used by the chimney sweeps in the 1966 musical "Mary Poppins."