Crazy "MURDER MY VAGINA" Amanda Bynes - and CYBER PORN EXTORTION

We love FREE!

Hello Asshole Assange, gotta love the epidemic of hacking celebrity Twitter accounts, right?

Hello Fuck-Crazy Brin, Google horndog, you don't want to spoil the fun of even cyber extortionists, right??

Here are two fresh examples of bad behavior that will go unpunished. In fact, guys like Asshole Assange and Fuck-Crazy Brin would argue it's not bad behavior at all, just, oh, FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

First, our reliable looney-bin cuckoo-bird Amanda Bynes.

This incredibly brain-dead useless demi-celeb talentless pot-head is still locked up.

CHECK.

She's got Mumsy and Dadsy to control her vast and undeserved wealth so she can't waste it all on getting wasted.

CHECK

And she also can't go on Twitter anymore to hate "UGLY" celebrities like some rap-monkey named DRAKE, nor scream "murder my vagina" at some rap-monkey named DRAKE.

Hmmmm. Drake has his hands full, either way.

CHECK? DO I GET A CHECK??

Turns out Amanda "Murder my Vagina" Bynes allegedly did NOT just Tweet a new bit of idiocy about Drake, for or against.

At least, that's what her lawyer says, after the reckless media breathlessly told the world she was at it again.

Did she? Didn't she? How easy IS it to hack a fucking Twitter account?

Why don't rich bastard sites like TWITTER and FACEBOOK make sure that only celebrities can use their intellectual property (ie, their name), and to make sure that ALL people who use their site are protected from hackers and cyber bullying? Oh....because they don't have to. Because the law is designed to absolve them of all liability...

Now...let's see another example of what lax Internet laws are doing....

WHAT? Your computer suddenly turns on and records you nude, in your underwear, or actually masturbating? HOW do you explain that? You can't! YOU are in BIG TROUBLE and hackers are laughing all the way to...your Paypal account or to Western Union where they expect YOU to have a money order ready!

Faster than you can douche a Dutchman, quicker than Chris-goes-Pop in his pants, faster than Zinhof can pull down his zipper...

The porn they were looking at...began to look at THEM!

PAY UP or DIE OF EMBARRASSMENT.

Sadly, this situation usually happens to the wrong people...to ones who aren't themselves involved in cybercrime. People who simply thought they could use the Internet to read an e-mail, to visit a website that seems normal, or to go someplace offering a lot of great things to download. Only the website was cleverly designed to be a trap, and the e-mail that seemed to real was a "spoof." Love that word, don't you? SPOOF. And the result...chaos, identify theft, weeks of agony, a lifetime of embarrassment.

And why? Because the hackers behind this shit never get real punishment.

The laws are lax. Google wants it that way.

Whatever a hacker does...stealing a Twitter account, extorting money...the punishment is nothing. Maybe a slap on the wrist...because the rallying cry is KEEP THE INTERNET FREE! FREEDOM OF SPEECH!

Nevermind the FREEDOM to enjoy your surfing and your e-mailing and your buying without interference from greedy sons of bitches.

End of rant.

Start of laughter.

Ha ha ho ho hee hee. We'll just never know when Amanda or any other celebrity is actually Tweeting or not, will we? We'll never know if that Facebook page is the "real" star or a hoax. We'll never know if what we just bought was not a fun item but weeks of hell in getting back an entire bank account or identity.

Any time we download something legal OR illegal, something off Netflix OR Kickass, pay for something with a foolproof credit card or not, or open an e-mail that seems legit...it could be a SPOOF. A little joke that could lead to bankruptcy or suicide.

Meantime the hacker laughs, skips, dances, collects money, and praises Lucifer, Mohammed or Google for the opportunity.

Is it a crime to design some website to LOOK like a legit one, or some e-mail to SEEM real to even a cynic used to fakery? Sure it's technically a crime. But it really isn't. That's why there's so much fraud on the Internet, and why the Internet is a fucking red light district, and why cyber criminals are finding it so easy to torment other people for fun, or outright steal and extort to make a fortune.

Ho ho, hack a Twitter account and put somebody on the defensive...taint them for the rest of their lives.

Ha ha, get somebody to open a virus that turns on a computer screen for embarrassing photos! PAY UP or DIE of embarrassment and shame.

Hee hee!

If your computer could talk, it might say....

"Here's looking at YOU, kid..."