In other words, Lou is a "fashionista." Such a surprise? That he'd hang around with dykes and fairies telling everyone what is sanity? Where did he come from? Warhol. Attitude-land.
For a time, he and his band LOOKED good on stage. Once in a while, they even sounded good. Rock historians, the few that were there then, and aren't in the old folks home now, would tell you that one or two Velvet Underground songs hold up. Maybe one or two Lou Reed solo songs, though not "I Wanna Be Black" particularly.
No question that the most collectible Velvet Underground album is collectible not for the music but the Warhol banana cover. What does that tell you?
No question the "BEST OF VELVET UNDERGROUND" or the "BEST OF LOU REED" could fit in a single disc.
Look at the picture again. Everybody gets old. He looks like Truman Capote's tailor. What's he got to say?
Now brace yourself. Here's a "60's legend." He's at a completely pointless and trendy event that involves worthless awards for utter crap. But he IS a "60's legend." What's he got to say to us, with HUGO BOSS and GQ in bold letters behind him?
"There's only one great occupation that can change the world: that's real rock and roll."
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Jesus Christ, did you think you'd have to suffer the day that Lou Reed would spit out half-digested Crosby Stills & Nash?
CSN: "We can change the world!"
Reed: "There's only one great occupation that can change the world: that's real rock and roll."
What a fucking out-of-touch joke.
Listen to what McCartney is singing these days. Or Elton John. Or even Bob Dylan? IS that stuff changing the world? Or isn't it "real" rock and roll?
OK, "real" rock and roll is ELVIS? That's not changing the world.
Rock stars...they tend to be put together with equal parts delusion and conceit.
Real rock and roll matters in this world about as much as real vanilla beans in the ice cream. People are swallowing down all the artificial vanilla they can get. It's called Bieber. It's called Miley.
Rock stars don't sing real rock and roll anymore. Why? It's a dead genre, for one thing. Same reason there's no more good new classical music or jazz. Beethoven and Mozart gave you pretty much all the symphonies you need. Scott Joplin and W.C. Handy gave you all the ragtime and shuffles you'll ever want. Gershwin gave you "Rhapsody in Blue" and nobody wanted any more classical-jazz than that!
Rock? I'll quote Martin Briley, and his line, "I've been living in the shadow of The Beatles and the Bomb."
Now, all we're waiting for is the bomb.
"Real rock and roll" can change the world? Zzzzzzzzzz. It didnt when it was great, and there's even less chance now.
For one thing, the people who actually made real rock and roll were idiot savants. The moment you try to define rock, you fuck it up, and that goes for everyone from Bob Seger ("Gimme that old time rock and roll") to Mick Jagger ("It's only rock and roll but I like it...")
Rock and roll doesn't need to be defined.
ROCK doesn't need to be defined.
Neither needs to be defined badly by a has-been like Lou Reed (sad to say, but let's be honest).
Even more galling is the notion that being a rock star is the "only one great occupation" for change.
I learned more from my high school English teacher than I ever did from Lou Reed.
"I wanna grow up...to be a politician...and take over this beautiful land..."
Some rock writers and singers have pointed out the occupation that really concerns the world, and the world's changes!
The occupation that changes the world is politician, Lou.
The politician stands in front of millions, and whether they cheer or jeer, the politician...dictator...king...controls the change. Or lack of it. Always has. Always will.
So who cares if Macca is bobbling his head and going "Jude-ay" in front of 50,000 people in a stadium, and Dylan is growling the blues for 10,000 and Gaga and the others are making money for themselves. They own doll houses an a LOT of toys.
By contrast, look at Assad. Look at Putin. They change the world for thousands of people every day...by KILLING AND MAIMING. Whoever takes their places when THEY get killed or maimed...will be more politicians, dictators and kings...not anyone involved with rock and roll!
You really, REALLY want to compare December 7th, 1941 and December 6, 1969?
You really think you can compare Pearl Harbor to Altamont? Oooh, ooh, what happened at Altamont! Fuck...what happened in a movie theater in Colorado? At the Boston Marathon? In a school in Connecticut? Who changed the world, Lou? Put it this way, when was the last time YOU were on the cover of Rolling Stone and the last time that spot was occupied by a terrorist?
Who is changing the world now? Elton John? Mumford and Sons? Bob Dylan?
More likely Miley Cyrus encouraging kids to take dangerous drugs and be promiscuous. More likely the latest rapper who encourages blacks to shoot a white man in the back. The other day, a 31 year-old black in Union Square (you know where THAT is, Lou) shouted to the world he was going to kill the next Whitey he saw...and he picked on a totally defenseless 61 year-old, beating him into a coma. This innocent white guy is most likely to be dead in 24 hours. He took care of his 92 year-old mother. All they had were each other. So, Lou, you want to give away that guy's Rolling Stones records to somebody who'll change the world? His mother's Elvis Presley albums?
Lou, how much did you pay for the suit?
Your great occupation gave you money. You didn't change the world. Maybe you are responsible for a few overdoses. Maybe you're responsible for a few hormone-tormented teenagers trying out gay sex and either living to regret it or dying of AIDS. Maybe you helped create the myth that calling yourself Candy Darling will give you a happy life when it seems to have mainly given some cheap thrills to all the parasites who out-lived him.
What can change the world is being a teacher. Or even the friendly neighborhood candy store owner. Or, dare I say it, a cop or a fireman?
What's your definition of REAL rock and roll? If it's Bo Diddley, nobody's paying attention. If it's anyone on the plane "the day the music died" nobody's paying attention. A new generation has Gaga and Bieber and Miley.
Tell me, Lou, do you see a WHOLE lot of people under 50 who care about Elvis Presley?? What exactly DID he do that changed the world? People aren't walking around in greasy dyed black hair and silly looking suits. They don't answer "That's all right Mama" to every question. And thank God they don't eat nothing but peanut butter and banana sandwiches. You're saying Presley changing "Aura Lee" to "Love Me Tender" changed the world? That rock and roll is the great occupation but not any of the other arts? "Casablanca" hasn't changed anyone? Brando? "Catcher in the Rye?" JEEEEEEZ LOU EEEEEEEEEE.
What changes the world is vast groups of people. Lou, not one fucker shouting 'Day-O' or 'I Can't Get No Satisfaction' or "God Save the Queen She Ain't No Human Bean'
What music was playing when Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his "I Have a Dream" speech? NOTHING. NO MUSIC.
Lou Reed: "There's only one great occupation that can change the world: that's real rock and roll."
I hope you had a nice time at the awards show. Maybe there was cocaine in the men's room, and you were able to spread some lines on a table before somebody used it as a diaper/nappie area for "changing" a baby named "World." Or "Apple" or whatever.
Louie Louie (to reference a song most under 50 never have heard), I hope G.Q. threw a real, real NICE party, with a "goodie bag" for the celebs afterward full of iPods and fancy watches and stuff...because G.Q. and fashionista shit and HUGO BOSS have more money than you do. I hope that each time a waiter came by with a tray, you were able to snag a few hors d'oerves.
Most of all, I hope that the cartels of Colombia and Mexico and the Middle East continue their occupations that change the world...and keep providing the cocaine, marijuana and heroin. A real rock and roll star can't get by without that stuff! ALTHOUGH...in the picture above, maybe all you really need is Maalox.
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