Jimmy Kimmel, YouTube, Google, Twerking, Pranks: SO MUCH TO DISLIKE

It was the feel good story of the day.

Or the feel stupid story of the day.

9 million hits on that "Twerking Fail" video on YouTube...and it turns out to be a hoax. Or excuse me, a SPOOF, as the hackers and pirates and con artists like to say.

It was all a SPOOF. Har har har.

A spoof that happened to ignite thanks to Miley Cyrus.

Here's the back story. It all started over a month ago.

Jimmy Kimmel, "Tonight Show" competitor to Leno and Letterman, decided to plant a bogus video on YouTube. The guy LOVES pranks. As if there aren't enough bogus videos on YouTube, or carefully rehearsed "bloopers." He happened to choose "twerking" as the topic. A stuntwoman was recorded dancing around in a room with a few candles on a table, seeing how her shaking ass looked on video. Her room mate walks in, knocking her off balance and into the table. The candles call over, she falls over, and a moment later, she stands up, her pants leg on fire, shrieking with terror. But don't worry, gang, she's all right. Hoo hah!

For over a month, the clip sat around building momentum. Then, fortunately for Kimmel, Miley Cyrus came along and her "twerking." People searching for more examples of it, found the "twerking fail." Kimmel gleefully watched as news anchors across the world all began to report on the YouTube video.

But with too many calling it "fake," and a few recognizing the girl as a stuntwoman, Kimmel unveiled the "directors cut" of the YouTube video Monday night, which showed him putting out the fire that had carefully been ignited the moment the girl slipped out of camera range during her twerk-fail.

HAR! HAR! HAR!

I have very mixed emotions about this, and laughter isn't one of 'em. I hate practical jokes. I loathe pranks. Maybe one in 50 of them (as seen on "America's Funniest Home Videos") are even momentarily funny or clever. Usually it's some lame-brained scare gag, like somebody hiding inside a gorilla suit or washing machine and popping out: SURPRISE!

Even "Candid Camera" was mostly obnoxious and cruel.

What was this? Just Jimmy Smartass saying to the world, "You can be had." Know what? That's every fucking April Fool's Day. It's very easy to do a "put-on." I could walk outside right now and say, "Oh, so sad that Obama was shot in the head." People would believe me. Gasp. And then I'd laugh and say, "No, he's fine! But you FELL FOR IT! Har har har!" Right. Make fun of somebody believing in you.

I think the most cynical thing in the world is to be that fucking cynical...in such a witless and smug way.

That's why I don't like Jimmy Kimmel too much. Sometimes he's funny, sometimes he's witty...but likable? Not very.

His pranks are so passive-aggressive, and so often aimed at people who don't deserve the abuse. His candid camera stunts usually involve abusing his ignorant staff. A female guard who barely has enough brains to sit at a desk, has routinely been subjected to all kinds of degrading slapstick. When Kimmel isn't perpetrating the acts himself, it's usually his "Cousin Sal," who, in the guise of someone doling out jobs to people desperate for them, will insult and humiliate instead. Little kids expecting a Halloween treat get disappointment instead. It's one thing to ridicule willing stooges who volunteer to risk looking like fools to "catch" an item tossed off a roof, for example, it's another to prank innocent people. ,P> On Kimmel's show, the ratio of "funny to cruel" always dips strongly toward the latter. While there's a very prickish side to Letterman, and while Leno can be anything besides "nice," and most any talk show host from Cavett to Frost to the great Johnny Carson has been capable of a devastatingly funny insult, Kimmel is far more malevolent than the rest, and dare it be said, more cowardly. Kimmel cheerfully went on Leno's show...only to cross Jay up with a set of pre-written vicious jokes championing rival host Conan O'Brien. Leno, trying to take the high road, later called the event an "ambush."

Kimmel and Conan fans enjoyed the sadistic prank...the underlying message being, "Don't trust anyone." What a sap, Jay Leno, being a nice guy. And also being trusting, having guested on Kimmel's show. Who'd think Kimmel would turn on him? Now he knew better. Har har har.

So here, all in one place, was the best of the worst...making fun of gullibility, using the deplorable YouTube, making money via "hits" by getting people to watch something fraudulent...and by a stroke of luck, having grotesque media-bitch Miley Cyrus to thank for it all because that tongue-wagging whore's twerking had people seeking out more YouTube vids on the subject than they normally would.

How nourishing, huh? Like one of those photos of fish in a circle, each eating each other's tail.

One thing that the great comedians knew, was how to wield the satirical sword. The target has to deserve it. In practical jokes and "funniest home videos," we laugh when the target DESERVES it. That would be the show-off brat who wields a baseball bat and hits himself in the head with it, the smug rollerblader mugging for the camera till he smashes into a tree, or the fearless leader in the amusement park who turns into quivering jelly when somebody tosses a rubber spider at him. In films, Groucho insulted royalty and society matrons, not the poor. Laurel & Hardy destroyed themselves with slapstick violence. Today's humor is much nastier...reflecting a world and an Internet that is full of bullying, selfishness and heartless indifference.

Kimmel is too often laughing AT us not WITH us, his grotesque hippo-like flat mouth curling at the edges in a malevolent grin. He's saying, the skeptic is right, the cynic has the last laugh, and you idiots should never read a newspaper, ever look at a TV screen, ever interact with another human being...without realizing that trust is a sham, the truth is a game, and most likely whatever is going on, is a con.

And we're really thankful there's a YouTube and an Internet and Facebook and Twitter and people named Miley and Kimmel to entertain us?