U.S. Oh, LOOK! David Beckham And Other Twits at the US OPEN

We all know tennis is an elitist sport. You have to be very wealthy to buy the gear, take lessons, reserve a court...or to even buy tickets to a game.

The U.S. Open has turned out to be a great OH LOOK photo OP...if you're interested in douche bag David Beckham, or middle-aged metrosexual Kevin "Is that a Wig" Spacey. The pap smears had a literal field day, barely having to focus their cameras, just pointing 'em toward the ultra expensive seats courtside, where fashion model twits, movie star twats, and even "royalty" squatted and watched the tedious matches.

What a perfect place to assure that they'd all be treated with the utmost courtesy and respect...a minimum of autograph seekers, a maximum of networking.

All that was missing, really, was something exciting to watch except themselves. Perfect! The usual suspects won, of course. Nadal on the men's side, and Serena Williams on the ladies' side.

It's an irony that the ultra-black Williams sisters don't seem to be doing much to popularize or subsidize tennis for their people. Serena makes HOW many million for even minor tournaments? Maybe her obnoxious father ordered her to NEVER answer fan mail that includes the line, "if you could send me a tennis racket and some balls...so I could practice in the basement of my tenement building..." They don't like competition?

They don't want more blacks coming in and possibly bettering all the records they've set? Black women don't have a lot of pro sports that can get them out of the "hood." Unlike the guys, who can try baseball, basketball, football or even boxing, teenage black girls seem to have fewer options. Like, either try and study with the rap music blasting next door, or drop out and become a ho.' Neither option gets you millions as a tennis player, or a seat anywhere behind Sean Connery.

Leo de Caprio. Now there's a round-faced ugly no-talent. Just past his shoulder, do you see that wan-looking dopey old black guy with the bow-tie? He's not mentioned in the caption, but he's sorta famous. That's the useless ex-mayor of New York, David Dinkins. Yes, the former City Clerk who married Diana Rigg and her man Archie (in a civil ceremony). Dinkins got in office playing the race card. He marketed himself as the wise old stoic who could bring the people together. I think there were more race riots under his watch than at any time in the city's history. There were several famous murders (see: Crown Heights, Yankel Rosenbaum, etc.) and fortunately he was shoved out in favor of Rudy Giuliani. This began the city's comeback with decreased crime and "quality of life" laws. The city enjoyed renewed prosperity through the moderately conservative regimes of both Giuliani and Bloomberg, a total of 20 years. The city will be going downhill in the near future (today is PRIMARY DAY, believe me...it's NOT a happy day...none of the mayoral choices are good, and the ones on the Democrat side are particularly loathsome).

Why mention Dinkins? Because he's a tennis guy. Always was. The U.S. Open was, aside from a race riot, the prime time you'd see the old wooden stick. His son has a cushy job with HBO. But did he do much for black girls who might want to follow the Williams sisters? Nope. Granted, the Williams sisters and Dinkins seemed to make it without playing the race card, but why not give back a little? Why not, at the very least, enjoy the ego trip of being the black celebrity admired by an entire ghetto school? Nah. Dinkins is a lot happier sitting in the white seats and perhaps waving to Alec Baldwin and getting a wave back. And to be charitable about not being so charitable, maybe Venus and Serena are waiting till the retire and have nothing to do...then they can go visit inner city schools.

Tennis remains an elitist sport for dull white people primarily. Goldie Hawn was there. The fruit who stars in "Big Bang Theory" was there. A lot of other dull celebrities. And what did they see? The same winners they were likely to see in Australia, France or England. Zzzzzz.

Oh, one celebrity who you DID NOT SEE...the big fat Queen Winfrey. Now why is that? I think it's because she doesn't like black females who are anywhere near her level of fame, as the Williams sisters are. Second, her movie already is slipping away from the theaters and she can't do much about that. Third...with Leo and Sean and Beckham and royalty...there aren't enough seats to contain Winfrey's gigantic planet-ass. And fourth, the spotlight wouldn't be on her alone...the event is not called the U.S. Oprah.