Ha ha. KILL Arthur SADOUN, Blow up Olivier ALTMANN rape Valérie HENAFF

Say, I have a great sense of humor. Everyone knows that.

That's why I'd like to KILL a guy named Arthur Sadoun. I think it would be funny. How? Rifle bullets to his head.

Now Olivier Altmann. I'd just blow him the fuck up. You know, he gets into his car. BOOM!

You don't kill a woman. So what about Valerie Henaff? You just give her something she'll remember all her life. Like her husband's head being blown off and his brains splattered in her lap. But...oh, just rape her. Somebody. Anybody.

Murder. Bombing. Rape.

That's today's version of MOE LARRY and CURLY, isn't it?

It should happen to Arthur, Olivier and Valerie, who run an award-winning ad agency called PUBLICIS CONSEIL.

One that just released a hilarious 30 second TV spot in which they spoof the assassination of John F. Kennedy.

But really, why spoof? Why not outright film a murder? A bombing? A rape? More publicity, eh? Oui!

Yes I would be FILMING these acts. And I'd condense the best 30 seconds of each murder, bombing and rape. And at the very end, in black with white letters, you'd see: "YOU LIKE TO BET?"

LOL. That's the kicker, isn't it. "YOU LIKE TO BET?"

It's sort of like 'GOT MILK?"

Only it's "YOU LIKE TO BET?"

You're supposed to then ask yourself, what does an act of murder, for example, have to do with "YOU LIKE TO BET?" Then you learn that this is the slogan of PMU, the French betting company. Now you get it? LOL! LOL! LOL! Once you stop laughing, you race right out to bet on some races!

What? You don't get it? You don't see what mocking the death of another country's president has to do with promoting a client who makes a living by making gambling look like a good way of making money?

Hmmm, YOU have no sense of humor, that's YOUR problem.

There's no line that can't be crossed. Nothing is too edgy. All barriers are made to be broken. "ALL IS PERMITTED" in the 21st Century.

You can be sure that Arthur, Olivier and Valerie say it every day at PUBLICIS CONSEIL.

They probably said it to the head of PMU, the company that expects you to lose your money betting on the races. Remember: losing your money is FUN. Betting is NOT an addiction that can wipe you out and destroy your life. Gambling isn't a sucker's sport where the odds are that you lose. Ignore how big and gaudy and prosperous the casino is, how the millionaires who own horses made their money NOT by gambling, and do not pay attention to the fact that almost nobody makes a living as a professional gambler on horse races.

Here's a few frames from that funny, attention-getting commercial Arthur Sadoun and his gang produced. It's a SPOOF of the Kennedy Assassination. Which was before their time, I'm sure. And you know what comedy is, don't you? Comedy is Tragedy + Time. And, surely, enough time has passed for everybody out there to find murder hilarious!

Spoofing the assassination of John F. Kennedy for a good cause...like promoting gambling...definitely would be an exception! Har har!

First major scene...

A Dallas police officer bets another officer he can twirl his gun just like a cowboy. Mon Dieu! Ooopsi whoopsi! His gun goes off, and TIN...TIN...TING...it ricochets off an ice cream cone, a building sign, and other funny things. And SAPRISTI! It apparently shot John F. Kennedy in the head, because here's Jackie O. in the iconic moment she rushed from the horrific and bloody scene...

Mmmm, that could've come right out of the Zapruder film. How accurate it looks!

Next, haw haw haw...it's those zany Dallas cops again. They're pointing to the 4th Floor (Texas Book Depository Building...remember) saying the gunshot came from up there somewhere.

Honestly, what is more HILARIOUS than this 30 second commercial?

Putting a bullet through the head of Arthur Sadoun? It's possible. Pierre Richard is still alive, isn't he? Nobody assassinated him? He's a funny actor, and he hasn't really had a "HIT" (Get it?) since "Tall Blond Man With One Black Shoe." Imagine he shoots Arthur Sadoun through the head, and then says, "It was the Dallas police!"

Blowing up Olivier Altmann. Well, this might not be funny, but we could get a crazy Muslim fanatic to do it...one who looks like, oh, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev. 10 seconds of the explosion and the body in flames, then 20 seconds of the kid posing, styling his curly hair. It would be CUTE!

And the rape of Valerie Henaff. Oh, Kanye would be good. He's probably so tired of easy Kim Kardashian. Edgy! SEXY! The version shown on European TV would be uncensored. Especially in India. Especially if Valerie is gang-raped. Kanye could invite a brother-in-law or two.

So there you are, three more prize-winning commercials for French gambling. Three ad agency execs actually shot, blown up and raped. Look, you can change it around. Rape Arthur, Kill Valerie. Whatever.

These three people...they will not be missed.

Besides, it'll be good publicity: THREE AD AGENCY EXECS RAPED, BLOWN UP and KILLED. Go bet on the races and take your mind of such tawdry headlines.

Doing in Arthur Sadoun, Olivier Altmann and fucking the shit out of Valerie Henaff would, at hit man rates, be much less expensive than hiring Miley Cyrus to stick out her tongue, or a chunky bowel movement from her twerky anus. People would talk about it at least as long as they did the Boston Marathon bombings...which were foolishly not sponsored.

On YouTube there are already French people scoffing, "You Americans, you have no sense of humor" and "You Americans kill people but don't think it's funny if there's a joke about a dead president?" and "LOL! This IS HILARIOUS!

Icons are made to be broken. Smashed. Assassinated. Bombed. Destroyed. So get over it. Lighten up!

Maybe there will be a new commercial for mattresses. Here's the scene: Dr. King says "I have a dream," then we see his head get blown off. Then a voiceover: "YOUR dreams will come true if YOU buy a mattress MADE IN FRANCE!"

Sapristi!