Jimmy Kimmel FAILS in the clutch

More fall-out from the disappointing Kanye-Kimmel "kerfuffle."

"Kerfuffle" is a dismissive term for sound and fury signifying nothing. Or, something OTHERS think is important, that really isn't.

What would've been important is if Kanye West was brought out...and ambushed and kicked in the nuts the way Jimmy Kimmel turned up on Jay Leno's show only to hurl prepared wisecracks at Jay and totally fluster a man who thought he'd extended an olive branch of good will.

Instead, by common agreement, Kimmel toadied and groveled. He looked absolutely fearful. And no wonder, he wasn't smirking at a star behind the star's back. He was mano-a-mano with KANYE WEST, and he CAVED.

Edgy comedians shouldn't cave. Lenny Bruce fought. George Carlin fought. Norm MacDonald got dropped from "Saturday Night Live" and was still a wiseguy about it. Dick Cavett, just about the shortest comedian-talk show host of all time, stood up to Norman Mailer and Muhammad Ali and anyone else who tried to insult him or get the better of him.

If you're the guy who laughs and says the emperor has no clothes, don't come running over to put a jockstrap on him and kiss his ass.

It's one thing to mend fences if you've simply been a jerk. David Letterman did that with Oprah. Letterman played a very stupid practical joke on her, telling a waiter "she's picking up my tab," when Dave and his wife happened to be in the same restaurant as Oprah and her idiot. It took him years to get Oprah to accept his apology and appear on his show...mostly because Oprah has no sense of humor and took the whole thing personally...not realizing Dave probably would've tried that stunt on most anyone of similar star power and wealth.

It's also sad that some of our most respected and beloved iconoclasts and counter-culture comedians are really imposters. One comic, who will be nameless here, had achieved a reputation for being a quick wit, and for being remarkably sharp and caustic. Too bad he went on a talk show and was cut to pieces by another guest who wasn't even a comedian, just a film critic. During a break, Mr. Wit actually threatened to punch the critic in the nose if he didn't shut up! See, Mr. Wit had fooled the public because he'd quote himself during his stand-up act, and attribute wisecracks to himself that he didn't actually ad-lib. "And so then I told the cop..."

One of our greatest movie wiseguys, who sure sounded like the world's funniest put-down artist, was sitting in a vaudeville theater watching forgotten stand-up comic Frank Fay perform. Fay spotted Mr. Wisecrack in the audience and said, "Hey...why not come up here and we'll have some fun." Mr. Wisecrack shrank in his seat, knowing that the seasoned Fay could pepper him with salty insults for which he'd have no comeback. "Oh, not coming up," said Fay, or words to that affect, "I guess you really do need a script."

Kimmel is a clever guy, often iconoclastic, and sometimes very good at seizing at a guest's stupidity and offering a skeweringly smart-ass reply. So hopefully he'll learn from this embarrassing gaffe and not be so intimidated by SOMEBODY WHO MAKES SO MUCH MONEY. Kimmel, Kanye West is not really the King of All Media (that's Howard Stern) and is not somebody to fear. He's just a rapper and he's not been in the gang fights of a 50 Cent or some other hip hop artist. He's just a dumbass married to a media whore, a fool who is delusional about his "taste" in fashion, and a jerk who happens to have sell a LOT to a minority of morons who like rap. So maybe you can do what you did to Leno. Next time, smile and start firing prepared insults at him, and any ad-libs you can think of as well...and show the world that bully confidence that has made cult heroes out of a Dennis Leary, Russell Brand and Ricky Gervais.