THE ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF SHIT...latest nominees

Rock, or "rock and roll" as old people call it, has always had a sell-out side.

It was born of corporations and fat cats who have always taken most of the money.

Phil Ochs sang about the "Chords of Fame" before he killed himself, and there's no doubt that corporations have pushed their famous artists to the limit, milked them for all they were worth, and discarded them the minute a new album had disappointing sales.

The hype has always been that "ROCK" stands for honesty, and creativity...but check any Top 10 list of what played on the radio and what sold in stores. An awful lot of shit. Why? Because most people are stupid, and all they ever wanted from their rock records was audio wallpaper...something to dance to, take drugs to (most progrock IS garbage), fuck to, or drive to work and back to. For over fifty years, "rock and roll" and later, "ROCK," had the reputation for being the hippest place in the music world, and the only place for protest songs and other aspects of revolution.

Now rock is being replaced by hip hop and even country crossovers, and there's no more pioneering artists like The Beatles taking us from pop into a new world. If there's a new world that we'll reach by music, it'll involve Kanye and Jay-Z and curse words and auto-tune and beat boxing or something.

Rock, in essence, is DEAD. But old people still hope their kids will want a Beatles album for Christmas, and the corporations still think there's money to be made with box sets and whatnot. And there's something else...

The "Rock and Roll Hall of Fame," which is a corporation. Their aim is to make money. They've just issued, via TV adverts, a boxed DVD set of "highlights" from past shows. Yes, they're a sell-out bunch. They were jerks from the start, building the place in Cleveland of all places, because it was cheap real estate. If you wanted central location, Chicago would've been a choice. So, does anyone go there? Only if you have business in the area, and few do besides muggers and drug dealers. You'd go out of your way to fly there, get a hotel for the night, just to see some tat behind a glass case??

When you consider that ROCK music has a reputation for being honest, creative and yes, revolutionary (which is why it was excluded from the Grammy Awards for so long), you'd think the "Hall of Fame" wouldn't be a dumb, exclusionary clique run by idiots and based mostly on who can bring in the most publicity and money if accepted.

This collection of shit heads is nominated this year:

That says "Rock and Roll" to you?

Would the Country Music Hall of Fame bend nomination rules to include an act obviously NOT country? No, those shitkickers have at least some ounce of integrity mixed in with their beer and Jack Daniels.

It's an embarrassment that rock is dying out (don't talk to me about Arcade Fire and Mumford and Scum) but that's because white people are dying out, and white kids are dressing ghetto and absorbing hip hop, even if it's sometimes a pale version of it via Bieber and Miley. What doesn't help is having a "Rock and Roll Hall of Fame" that insists on having a fancy-ass show in New York every year and therefore insists on adding SIX inductees whether they deserve it or not.

The pioneering Baseball "Hall of Fame" sometimes doesn't induct ANYONE, because they have statistics and WRITERS involved, not assholes who get invited to vote because they can be corrupted.

Here's the pathetic list, which is more like the "Bargain Bin Hall of Shit."

You get Rolling Stone's view on how they are ALL deserving (when did they become such wimpy shills) and my take, including YES NO or MAYBE.

The Paul Butterfield Blues Band. The Chicago band, powered by Butterfield on harmonica and Mike Bloomfield on guitar, led '60s rock lovers to the wellspring of Willie Dixon, Muddy Waters and Howlin' Wolf.

Yeah? They've been a dollar bin eyesore for years. Just another collection of rip-off hippies pouring sweet white cream into bitter black, because that's what mindless hippies wanted at the time. Oh, yeah, dude, BOOGIE! Nothing too interesting here, not at this late date. Would I go pay a museum fee to see one of their fucking album covers on a wall when I see it in a thrift shop? No. Doesn't add much to the hall. MAYBE.

Chic. With dance-floor classics like Le Freak and Good Times, Nile Rodgers and company gave disco a brilliant, soulful upgrade and influenced generations of pop and rap artists.

Chic is shit. This isn't rock and roll. How many times did you ever see somebody walk to the counter of a record store with Alice Cooper, Jethro Tull, Bob Dylan records...and CHIC? Enough said. NO. And a big FUCK YOU for nominating them

Deep Purple. The British quintet, which helped define the heavy metal genre with its organ-driven thick sound and early covers of Hush and Kentucky Woman, hijacked the charts with Smoke On the Water and Woman From Tokyo.

Oh. "Hush." The one-hit that became so boring because I'd hear it all the time...played in the dorm by drugged up dumbass overweight stoner jerks. The albums were boring after a while, too. The band is famous, yes. So do they get in? YES. Do I ever play Deep Purple? No.

Peter Gabriel. The former Genesis frontman brought funky, synth-infused flavor to hits such as Sledgehammer and Shock the Monkey, but arguably made his biggest impact with the powerful, anti-apartheid anthem Biko.

Arguably made his biggest impact with Biko? By sounding like Sting's farty asshole and putting on a fake dumbass dialect? "Da man EES Dedd!" The worst thing he ever did, really. Right up there with Sting singing "yooo daws havva toon on de red lite." Fuck both of you for that blackface shit. How dare you? How fucking DARE YOU? It's one thing to "sing black" like Janis Joplin, but another to fake dialect. For his work in Genesis, for his intensely paranoid, alienated, desperately sad but hopeful lyrics on the solo albums all called "Peter Gabriel," sure he belongs. But I DEFY you to find anyone who understand what the fuck "Shock the Monkey" (song or video) is about, and "Sledgehammer" is just porn. This guy is getting voted in for the wrong reasons. But, of course, as Simon Cowell (who has never discovered anyone like this) would say, "A BIG YES!"

Hall & Oates. With smooth vocal harmonies soaring over rich, pop-rock melodies, Daryl Hall and John Oates brought rhythm & blues to the top of the charts, scoring smash singles such as I Can't Go for That (No Can Do), Private Eyes and You Make My Dreams.

Jesus, another one-shot wonder. "Maneater" was ok. Much of the blue eyed soul shit they did is SO dated. When I drew the assignment to interview and photograph these guys, I was not enthused, but I'll give 'em credit, they were nice guys, and at the time some of their stuff was catchy. The Righteous Brothers of the 80's? I'll surprise you by not "hating on them," and say...MAYBE. They were famous once. Do people need to go to a museum to learn why?

Kiss. Instantly recognized for their flashy attire and black-and-white face paint, these iconic heavy-metal rockers are best known for their Alive!, Love Gun and Destroyer albums, as well as their reputation for putting on dazzling, pyrotechnic-laden performances.

I saw them live and I have to admit, they put on a show. I met all four for interviews and three of them were interesting to talk to. Their music is nothing. Not a single song they ever did is worth hearing. I didn't listen to their stuff at the time, have none of it now, and I don't think they're very good singers or musicians either. But you can't argue with success. YES.

LL Cool J. Before he appeared on Brad Paisley's Accidental Racist, this New York-bred rapper climbed the charts with his sentimental ballad I Need Love, and went on to influence Michael Jackson.

"RAPPER" is the description. This is NOT ROCK. Instant NO.

Nirvana. Led by late singer/guitarist Kurt Cobain, this grunge-rock trio cemented its place in rock history with early '90s hits such as Lithium, Heart-Shaped Box and Smells Like Teen Spirit.

Never listened to them, of course. I'm not a drug addict in Portland, am I? NO, I'm not. The fuckhead killed himself, so that's an instant pass, isn't it? If that inspired a few assholes in Portland to do likewise, it's helped thin the herd. We STILL have the spectre of Courtney Love, though. Since I like Weird Al's parody of "Teen Spirit," that tips it. Yeah, yes. But I'd bypass his exhibit at the hall...too full of noisy smelly people on drugs.

N.W.A. Dr. Dre's ambitious, angry rap group, dubbed The Beatles of hip-hop, electrified fans, stunned city fathers and attracted the FBI's attention with gangsta rap classic F--- Tha Police and aggressive albums Straight Outta Compton and N-----4Life.

Tell you what, all you lily-white reviewers who are so fucking impressed with "Straight Outta Compton," you can go visit there, and walk around, and...DIE. You guilty pussies need to solemnly bow down to grumbling ignorant street hoods and sulkingly angry low life anti-social pricks who'd rather not go to school and learn how to function in society? A lot of blacks grew up in public housing and made a life for themselves by staying in class, not being classless dumbass monkey-moron thugs. The answer here is an emphatic NO.

Link Wray. Inspiring Eric Clapton, Jimi Hendrix and Bruce Springsteen, the late rocker's 1958 hit Rumble introduced the power chord to future generations of guitarists and musicians.

Yes, Link Wray is very influential, especially among rockabilly blog assholes who post Link Wray albums every fucking day and say "DIG IT!" afterward, or "GIT IT." Oh, man, that retro sound is SO cool among 60 year-old garage attendants who never grew up. I don't have any of his shit and I don't care. That he influenced three of the most boring and annoying people in rock...Clapton, Hendrix and Springsteen fills me with nausea. But, ok Mr. Pioneer with the silly name. Yeah. You "git it," a ticket to the hall. Yes. Make that yeah, dig?

The Meters.The iconic New Orleans funk ensemble and house band for Allen Toussaint's Sansu label recorded Cissy Strut, Look-Ka Py Py and many tunes with Dr. John.

Oh fuck you Hall of Fame idiots for even nominating them, and fuck every obscure ethnic band that made a 45 rpm. First off you call them "funk" and that's not rock. What's the deal, you went to a boot sale, got 20 old shitty 45's for a shilling, and randomly played a ring toss game and THEIRS was the ringer that slid down the pole? NO.

The Replacements. This Minnesota-bred band never scored a hit single, but they are considered alternative-rock pioneers by many, notably influencing popular punk-rock outfits such as Green Day and the Goo Goo Dolls.

Not worth discussing. They influenced the Goo Goo Dolls? FUCK NO.

Linda Ronstadt. At the forefront of the folk- and country-rock movements, this full-voiced beauty made a name for herself covering Roy Orbison's Blue Bayou and Betty Everett's You're No Good.

Get her in while she can still walk. Yes.

Cat Stevens. One of the biggest-selling artists of the early '70s, the mellow British songsmith crafted introspective, tranquil tunes such as Peace Train, Wild World and The First Cut Is the Deepest.

There is no Cat Stevens. There's some Muslim out there who has outgrown his ability to grunt and growl about a "Peace Train" (that was a clue, wasn't it...how un-tranquil that song actually is). Cat Stevens is to poetry what the dribble glass is to fine dining. He had the capacity for making co-eds wet their knickers with idiocy like "baby baby baby it's a wild world...I always thought of you as a child with no mind and so easy to get blow me." Something like that. He sold a lot of records, made a lot of money, and would the Muslims blow up the building when there's a big wall telling the world how he's now Yusuf Al-Hummus? Yes.

Yes. Largely responsible for bringing progressive rock to the mainstream, these symphonic, experimental Englishmen are often seen as the forefathers to other beloved, synth-heavy bands such as Rush and Dream Theater.

Yes. NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO, FUCK YOU GUYS, NO!

The Zombies. Famed for hazy vocals accompanied by psychedelic guitar riffs and jazz-inflected electric piano, their Odessey and Oracle album was ranked one of the 100 all-time greatest by Rolling Stone.

I'd say yes, but the hall might be..."Just...out...of...reach...."