Publicity for Lovable Lame-Ass RINGO

Ringo Starr, the least photogenic of The Beatles, has momentarily stopped releasing sound-alike CDs of hastily scribbled lyrics about Liverpool, being in the fab four, and how nice it is to enjoy life and play drums. Instead, he's pushing a "limited edition" (well, everything Ringo does IS limited in the number of copies sold) of a photo book. His biggest hit was "Photograph" after all, so a few extra iTunes downloads may be sold on the song.

But how do you promote a book that will mostly have pix of a homely guy, few shots of the Beatles that haven't already been seen, and some images that might only appeal to senile Scousers who want their memories refreshed on how their neighborhood looked?

OH...hey...here's a picture of a bunch of idiot Beatles fans who cut school and happened to be in a car that was alongside Ringo! Ringo took a picture! That's the hook. Let's find 'em.

"Gosh, I wonder whatever became of those kids..."

AHA!

NOTHING MUCH became of those kids. And it was a boring photo, too.

OK, there's always some morbid curiosity in contrasting a picture of anyone in their youth with how they look like now, but...

That's about it. The story of how they cut school is boring, and what they did with their lives is boring; almost as boring as every Ringo album over the last 30 years.

We forgive Ringo. He's only trying to dispose of a measly 2,500 copies of his book.

He's just trying to remind us that he's another of the surviving Beatles. No, not the one who can suddenly set up in Times Square and do a concert, or get on every TV show and actually still get the media to insist "THIS is his BEST album in YEARS. No kidding. Really. You won't be fooled again..."

My favorite part is that last throwaway line from Ringo, where he blandly says "How cool" to know what happened to these five kids (he apparently didn't even bother to call any of them or promise a personally autographed book). Instead he threw in a plug for his obscure dates in Mexico the land of violent drug cartels and diarrhea, with a vaguely arrogant remark about how he "won't be back" (or talking to the media, I guess) "until November (22) when we play two shows at the Palms in Las Vegas. I look forward to meeting them when I get back." If they pay to fly to Vegas? If you stop in New York first and "The Today Show" guarantees you a half hour of studio time to promote your book, hold your head lop-sided, grin and flash the peace symbol???

Go ahead, Mr. Starkey. Who can get THAT cynical about Ringo and his clumsy publicity stunt, or be disappointed that his albums have been so mild and forgettable? The man is over 70, and...RINGO.

And we all live in a yellow submarine, don't ya know?