Stay Off Cruise Ships -- That Form of Tourist Entertainment is DISGUSTING

At this point, the poor bastards on a few Carnival Cruise ships that stalled, or caught fire, or whatever the fuck happened to strand 'em in mid ocean, have recovered from their diarrhea.

Carnival is far from the only chicken of the sea. Let's not forget the cruise ship that capsized killing 30 people because "Captain Coward" was an idiot. That trial is still dragging on, as a typical newspaper clipping shows.

"Captain Coward" told his crew to "get close" to the shore…a half mile from it rather than the safe five miles…because he wanted to goof at the sunbathers. The ship got destroyed on the rocks, and as the crew and passengers desperately tried to save themselves, the Captain put on civilian clothes and made sure to be one of the first to get into a lifeboat!

Yes, the cheater (he's married and 56) and his chosen passenger-pussy (she's 26) snuck off "in a lifeboat and refused orders to return" to the ship and "supervise the evacuation of its more than 4,000 passengers and crew."

Over 30 people died.

What's the lesson here?

STAY OFF CRUISE SHIPS -- THE LOWEST FORM OF TRAVEL AND THE STUPIDEST IDEA FOR SPENDING A WEEK'S VACATION.

Who the hell wants to be aboard a boat full of brainless losers, sleep in a stuffy cabin, be at the mercy of the blazing sun, and actually be almost as badly off as someone marooned on an island? You can spend 7 days in the middle of the ocean with no relief from an attack of ptomaine, no way of walking away (unless you happen to be Jesus in water-proof sandals), and forced to take a whole lot of aspirin because the asshole next door to you is being loud, rude, overbearing, or smells so much like a herring that you have to hold your nose in the hallway and chew on raw onions to distract yourself from becoming nauseous.

The only people more moronic than tourist idiots who willingly board a "Cruise Ship" are the loser employees. What kind of "Captain" is sailing one of these? An inept one, it seems. One who doesn't know if the fucking boat is going to stall in the middle of the ocean, or one who actually looks for trouble by steering it into rocks in shallow water near a beach. The rest of the crew? Losers who are so revolting and obnoxious their wives, husbands and children are glad to have them away for a week.

You can't expect really decent food on board a ship where seasickness is a way of life. What's the point of giving people good food when they'll only throw it up? What kind of decent chef or capable waiters would be reduced to unsteady employment on some barge going in circles, rather than working in a fine restaurant a simple commute from home?

And let's not even THINK about the kind of lame-ass "entertainment" aboard these toilets. Really, "cruise ship" entertainers are the biggest losers, the lowest of the low. They play to a captive audience...lame magicians, hacky comedians, corny rock bands...and this is what they stick on their resume. This is what they tell Simon Cowell when they turn up on "Britain's Got Talent" and get buzzed within 10 seconds. "Sorry," says Simon, "but you are clueless, can't keep time, and if you'd like a second opinion...ugly as well. Goodbye."

Can you imagine being proud of having a gig on a cruise ship? That's like a whore bragging she gets laid a lot. No, you're not really in show biz, no, you're not impressing anyone, and if you could do better, why don't you? Let's see you working a nightclub that doesn't have an infirmary well stocked with aspirin and diarrhea medication!

I know a lot of heavy hitters...big time agents, big time performers, and some of those nightclub owners who can get somebody whacked. They all agree, the credit of cruise ships on a resume is the sign of a loser. Also the sign of an agent to avoid is the low-rent failure who tells some singer or magician, "I can get you on a cruise ship!" Yeah? Cockroaches can get on a cruise ship, too, and they tend to stow away in savaloys. So watch out.

Yeah, it's a real glamorous life, being stuck in still water with toilets overflowing and no air conditioning while waiting to be rescued...or having to climb into a life preserver and fight for space because the CAPTAIN is already there wearing civilian clothes!

Save a life..dissuade people from taking a CRUISE SHIP VACATION. Any time you read an article about a CRUISE SHIP in the paper...it's ALWAYS BAD NEWS!!!!