One Less DUTCH DOUCHEBAG: Niels Gerson Lohman Stays out of America

The Huffington Post, the freebie website that doesn't pay writers and reprints news almost as blatantly as Google, offered an editorial by a Dutch douchebag you and I never heard of, Niels Gerson Lohman.

What was on the mind of this windmill of hot air? It was how he'll NEVER go back to the United States. It took him thousands of words to say that.

All I really need is one word in reply:

GOOD!

A brief segment from his piece, which is all about how customs officials grew suspicious of him, detained him, and questioned him just a little too severely for a pussy Huffington post poseur to deal with without sweating...

His weary screed went on and on to describe his interrogation, how the customs officials were terse with him, how he got very sweaty and nervous, how he was asked what his background was and why he was so keen on going to Yemen and other evil places.

The rich Dutch douchebag said he travels the globe just to sample FOOD. That would raise anyone's suspicions, wouldn't it? You really expect that customs officials with a duty to protect America are NOT going to ask questions on seeing a passport loaded up with stops in creepy places where child pornography, ladyboy sex, and suicide bombers thrive? Who the FUCK is coming into America after being in Malaysia and Yemen fer Allah's sake?

Thank you, customs officials! PS, while the poor guy's feelings were being hurt, the customs officials also nabbed a cocaine smuggler. GOOD!

What a self-important fuckhead this Neils Gersopn Lohman Dutch Douchebag is. I think the only reason he wrote this drivel is that it might give him publicity for his next (obscure) book. Maybe he figured some do-gooder would read his gassy prose and ask him to come lecture. You can bet that for a few bucks he'd easily change his tune and come to the U.S.A. Any cheap Dutch douchebag would come to Cal E. Fornia if they offered him free transportation in a United Parcel box, and a coupon for a free dinner at Applebees.

I hate to break it to a gas bag who breaks wind in print, but listen "Niels," better people than YOU have been delayed at airports, been asked strange questions, or had their suitcase searched. It's happened to old women who are U.S. citizens, much less a pompous Dutch douchebag poncing on and on about how he travels the globe to stuff his stupid face.

I was nearly delayed and missed a flight because a customs official found it curious that I had a can of cat food in my suitcase. Did it contain drugs? Diamonds? No, it contained cat food. I wanted to make sure I had a can ready to feed the cat, that's all. And, I thought he might like to try something imported! This naturally did not sound normal to a customs official, but thankfully, with a little running, I did get to the plane, WITH cat food can intact.

The odd thing about this moron's editorial, is that he seemed to understand the officials "are just doing a job," and he told them so. That's all you can do. You treat the psycho cop with respect, the paranoid guard, whoever is being a pain in the ass. It's no big deal, schmuckeroo. Consider your beloved Yemen. You even admit that in other parts of the world, you've been viewed with greater suspicion...and the punishments could've been much worse. Like prison. Or death. You think it's a joy going in and out of Russia? Maybe they'll consider you some homo-pussy and just give you a dose of poison and claim you simply ate bad sushi at the airport.

One last thing, Gouda-and-Bowel Breath (that's a demotion from Dutch douchebag), ever hear of a fuckhead named Van Der Sloot? Joran van der Sloot? Well, that's another reason for customs officials anywhere in the world should be careful with potential nether-region masturbator-murderers from the Netherlands, because, like you, Slooty figured he was a privileged character and could go as he pleased and do what he wanted. He's now doing 10 or 20 in a Peruvian jail. And hey, Coagulated Fuckwad (a further demotion for you), if you want to sample the food in a Peruvian jail, go THERE for your next vacation, taking along your wooden-shoe-brained hard-headed attitude and your fucking passport full of excursions to psycho-Islam-land.

You Dutch douchebag assfaced coagulated fuckwad....keep this up and I might write an editorial insulting you. This, was NOT it!