John Hinckley? Aw, He ONLY tried to KILL THE PRESIDENT. Set him FREEEEE!

Ooooooooh, we do love FREEEEEEEE.

FREEEEEEEEE Julian Assange.

FREEEEEEEEE all music and TV shows and movies.

FREEEEEEEEE John Hinckley, the psycho killer.

Huh?

This guy Hinckley thinks he should go work at Starbuck's or Subway, the sandwich shop. THIS is a mark of SANITY? He thinks he can "fit in" by being the notorious murderer and serving up food and coffee??

Who puts ideas like this in his head?

Who put the idea of KILLING THE PRESIDENT in his head?

Nevermind. Freeeeeeee him.

Oh yes, he's been inching ever-closer to it. He's been a "model prisoner." Think: Jack Abbott.

Murderer Jack Abbott was a "model prisoner" and he developed a talent for writing. Oooooh. He wrote so well, he impressed Norman Mailer.

Mailer, we recall, stabbed his wife and could've killed her. So he had a special place in his heart for Jack Abbott, and a clear understanding of a mere "blip" of insanity.

Mailer fought hard to get Jack Abbott paroled. Jack Abbott got paroled. Jack Abbott killed again.

But THIS guy. He looks reasonable, doesn't he?

Sort of a less pudgy Mark David Chapman.

All he did was try to impress a shitty lesbian actress named Jodie Foster. Because she played a whore in a movie or something.

Whatever, he got his gun (so easy in America) and BANG BANG BANG, he nearly killed the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

He did manage to fire a shot into James Brady's skull, scrambling the man's brains and leaving him to a life of pain and a wheelchair and tears.

But what the FUCK.

Hinckley hasn't shot anybody since.

Like Mark David Chapman and the "Son of Sam" himself, David Berkowitz, he's MUCH BETTER now.

The notion that shooting the President is a crime for which you NEVER GET OUT OF JAIL? Aww, duuuude, that's lame. Real bummer. Let's get a new paraidgm.

Here's the latest on The Hink:

The Hink does NOT give interviews to the press.

Somehow, authorities don't think this is a good idea. However, the press has gone around talking to people who've spoken with Hinckley. They've gotten some interesting quotes from him.

Especially on the recent death of James Brady.

The Hink is all right. It's the rest of the world that's nuts.

As in: FREEEEEEEEE HINCKLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. That shooting was so long ago. He's been nice to his mother. America loves guns. All sympathy to someone who just wanted to impress Jodie Foster.